Today, the "National Confectioners Association" (a.k.a. probably some 3rd grade class in Lone Oak, Missouri) sent us a package disguised as something serious by cunningly hidding the contents in an ordinary cardboard box. Little did we know, it was filled with the likes of every candy ever created -- ever. It was a promotion for their upcoming Candy Expo. And a smart one at that. It's actually scientifically proven that no body of people can physically reject a crate full of candy, despite perseverance and efforts to abstain.

At least someone is learning from my wisdom. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of bribes and goody-bags. [1] In my opinion, it's the best working management tool. I encourage all institutions to begin bribing each other in order to get what is desired.

Why they sent a crate full of candy to promote the candy expo, I don't know. Personally, I won't be eating a grain of sugar for the next three months after the lot I devoured. The solution would have been to send a large container of pickles; that way, after engorging ourselves with vinegar and salt we wouldn't be able to resist the extraordinary temptation of a warehouse full of candy (assuming there will be freebies).