As long as a couple is committed to each other and to their child, then I don't see a problem in having a child before you get married.

Whip, agreed. I wouldnt choose this trend for myself, but thats just me. If the couple is comfortable with their choices, why should others judge? They certainly dont need a marriage license to provide appropriate and loving care for the child.

I love this topic. Everyone and there momma swears behind my back of course that the real reason I got married was because I was pregnant. When in fact I got engaged a full month b4 I got married :SMIRK: We pushed the wedding date up and got married on a monday that friday I found out I was pregnant. I wouldnt want to get married because I was pregnant. It would always leave me thinking did he really marry me because he wanted to marry me and loved me or was it because I had his child and he felt he had to. Marriage is forever and its nothing to rush into if you arent sure. Sometimes we get pregnant even if we take precautions. Thats no reason to get married and take a chance on making a child live thru a tormented marriage. NOT AT ALL!
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ATTENTION ALL SECRET SANTA LOVERS VISIT THE ONCE UPON A FAB FINDING HOLIDAY SUITE ASAP TO CONFIRM PARTICIPATION!

I was born before my parents got married...actually I was one when they got married. It shouldnt matter. Look at Goldie and Kurt they have been together forever without marriage. Sometimes marriage ruins relationships

i wouldnt do it but thats just me.. i always wanted the "white" wedding lol plus my parents would be crushed.

Getting married solely because you are pregnant is never a good idea. If the plan was to get hitched anyway then fine, but if it wasn't why rush things. A baby and pregnancy is stressful enough to deal with let alone a new marriage you aren't really sure of.

It depends on the couple I think, if they're fine with t, then there shouldn't be a problem. My brother was born befor my parents were married and I was born whilst they were divorcing. I don't think either of us would be any different if they were married when we were born.

I personally would not want to have and raise a child with someone that I wasn't committed to spending a lifetime with. I don't think it is a good idea for people who are indecisive about their partner to have kids together. However, if people plan on being together for the foreseeable future, but don't want to get married because they don't believe in marriage, or whatever, that is different. And just because people get married doesn't mean they'll always be together. It just means that they *think* they'll always be together, which is a step in the right direction.

Tim Robbins & Susan Sarandon too. Never married but happy with kids!

I think the reason my parents waited so long to get married after I was born was because my mom got pregnant 4 months into their relationship because she messed up on the pill. They were married for eight years and got divorced. I am perfectly fine. I dont think they set a bad example and I am definitly a stable person

i don't think it matters really all that much. sometimes pregnancy is a suprize and it happens before people get married. i don't think it's a good idea just to marry someone because of pregnancy.
i'm sure kids do best in a two parent home but almost everyone i know was raised by a single mother and they turned out juuuuuust fine.

I certainly wouldn't recommend that people get married just because they are pregnant. It can work out but it could be a recipe for disaster. However, if you think you are going to get married anyway, why not just go ahead and do it? I think these Hollywood couples just want to buck the status quo for the sake of being different.
Also, I've never understood the argument that marriage is just a piece of paper, yet, the same people who say this also say that marriage can ruin a good relationship. If it is just a piece of paper and it doesn't have any significance, then it shouldn't be able to ruin a relationship, right? The bottom line is that it's a commitment and the cold hard fact is that, even though getting a divorce is relatively simple, it does make it harder to just cut and run.

Medicgirl, I totally agree. My husband and I had been dating for 2 years when I got preggers. We moved in together so we could raise our son and finally got married when he was 3

As long as they both love the child, thats all that should matter..........

i think the best environment for any kid is one where the primary caregiver (mommy or daddy or grandma or grandpa whatev) is happy and able to take care of the kid financially and emotionally

one of my friends got married b/c she got pregnant & it was the worst idea EVER!!! they had the worst relationship in the world & it was horrible for every sinlge person remotely involved in their lives. so...that being said...I think its a personal choice. I have no idea what i'd do if I were in the situation so I could never judge someone.

I think that's really an "American" thing to get married before having kids, somehow it shows that the US are STILL pretty conservative.In France TONS of people have kids before they marry and there is absolutely no problem with that.I mean it's not because you get married before you have kids that you have more chances to have a successful marriage!You marry someone to spend the rest of your life with them.So what difference does it makes to get married after having a kid if you're absolutely sure to have find the love of your life?

In this day and age and with the current divorce rate..who cares. I wouldn't have done it, but that just me and how I was raised and the situations that I experienced.

I personally don't look to too many entertainment personalities for morals..mostly just entertainment. What business is it of mine? Who am I to pass judgement on whether or not they get married...

Its only really fun gossip or debate whether or not they should get divorced

I think if you have already discussed marriage with your partner and you happen to get pregnant before you are married it's ok. For myself, I would like to be amrried a few years before getting pregnant. I also had a friend who got a girl pregnant and married her bc "it was the right thing to do". Well, they're divorced now. They weren't ready for marriage.

We had our son & then got married almost 3 years later. We are so happy...

Well, we all know that babies have a bad timing. They come when they come, no matter if their parents are legally married or not. *shrug*

Also we were together for 2 years before he came!

1. I totally disagree that it is "American." People do it all over the world.

2. It's NOT a new trend just cuz white celebs are doing it. Many of the non-white kids I teach say they want to have kids around age 20 and get married at 25.

3. I wonder if celebs are doing it cuz then they don't have to think about pre-nups.

oops - sorry Kelly, mis-read your comment - I agree on the "American thing" !

No problem!

Kelly -
I certainly don't think Americans have a monopoly on this "thing" of getting married before having kids. Believe it or not, people all over the world do this too and did it for years before America even existed!

I wouldn't care if someone has kids and then marries later. As I grew up I thought it was very bad when two people that had a baby didn't marry but now my views have totally changed. I don't care anymore what a couple does. It's their business what they do.

The results show that this is why the world is going to hell in a hand basket.

Although I agree that getting married just because you're preggers is a bad idea (in fact probably the worst idea) I couldn't see myself having kids before I'm married. I think it's a personal preference. I just wouldn't feel secure in a relationship having a baby with someone I'm not married to. Besides, even though I know lots of great people who were raised in single parent homes they all tell me that they wished their father/mother could have been their too. I think it is the "cool thing" now to have kids and not be married. It's kind of a fashion statement, but like everything else these things get old.

I had my 2 kids before I got married.. I was raised in church and of course I did not want to have kids b4 marriage , because I was 18 when I had my 1st kid... It was really hard because I was not living with their father... I think that it is best to get married then have kids just because I know how hard it can be sometimes. And ya Libby I think most girls now days who have kids think it is cool not to be married to show alot of people that they are strong and can take care of themselves... It is not an easy thing to do and I also felt like I was looked down upon from people in my church...But, I am over that.. I just look at my girls and realize they are precious gifts from God....

everyone gets divorced in 6 months to a year anyways

lol why bother?

i know dovima... divorce is the new going steady

Why isn't there a "who cares" option?

I think a lot of people plan to get married then have kids but lets face sh*t happens. The only full proof way to have kids after being married is to not have sex. I really dont like the getting married because you are preggers idea. What is a piece of paper going to do? Its not erasing the fatc that you are pregnant. Why not have the kid and raise it together then if you feel you want to get married do it. But if both of you are comfortable not being married but being together then why change it

This 28% who choose the second opition is so hypocrite! HAHAHA
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Im with you sica, I was shocked that so many people selected that. How is it that a piece of paper makes an environment stable for a child?

You can be together without being married and be stable.

I have no problem with people having babies outside of wedlock. Who cares? Most of us who do get married end up divorced anyway. Those that don't bother getting married just have less paper work and stress in the end.

i think it's probably a good idea to get married before the kid is old enough to be confused by it socially... but beforehand not necessary. i think getting married because your pregnant causes more problems in the long run. at least it did with my folks...

I think as long as the child has parents that love him/her and can work together to create a stable living environment it shouldn't be an issue if you're married or not. Two amazing examples are Goldie Hawn/Kurt Russell and Susan Sarandon/Tim Robbins (totally agree, lindaloo)

It's a personal choice between the couple and if they're comfortable with their decision, why should it be an issue?

I see nothing wrong with having a baby before marriage.

Personally for me it wouldn't work, but if it feels alright to the 2 people who are involved then that's all that really matters. they should do what works for them and it should not be about anyone else's ideas of what's right or wrong.......