Colton Haynes surprised and delighted Twitter this week by live-tweeting an awkward first date  while he was out to dinner. The actor, best known for his roles on Teen Wolf and Arrow, had everyone cracking up with hilarious observations. Sure, he's funny and stuff, but let's get real: he's also insanely, inhumanly attractive , and we've spent a lot of time just wondering what he was doing alone at dinner when he could have invited, um, anyone. In an effort to express how much we'd like to be in the company of Colton, we've compiled a list of objects who have already been there and done that. Keep scrolling, and prepare yourself for a little bit of jealousy.
This Unfortunate Ice Skater
I don't care what you say. That girl is #blessed.
This Gigantic Fallen Tree
If a tree falls in the forest and only Colton Haynes is around to hear it, does it scream out of excitement?
This dolphin has felt Colton's sweet touch.
Never have you ever wished to be a baby, until this moment.
This iPad and That Plate of Spaghetti
This Unsuspecting Hawk
That hawk is like, "HOW ARE YOU SO BEAUTIFUL?"
This Bike Helmet
This helmet knows what Colton's hair smells like.
This Plate of Cookies
There is not one thing to dislike about this picture.
This Microphone and Blurry Water Bottle
Both of these may or may not have touched Colton's lips.
The Floor of This Target
We must find this Target.
This Patio Furniture Set
That other chair is SO sad Colton didn't sit in it.
This snake never wanted this moment to end.
This Pair of Beets
We wish we were one of these two beets so we could tell Colton all our secrets.
This Christmas Tree
This Finding Nemo Costume
What kind of world do we live in where Colton Haynes will kiss a seal but NONE OF US?
Look at its face. It's practically saying, "I really just can't handle this. I have to go."
This Rock Collection
JK it's Stonehenge, everyone.
This Giant Champagne Bottle
This Koala Bear
This koala bear got to feel Colton's chest, and you didn't. How unfair is that?
This Lounge Chair
This Tennis Racket
That tennis racket knows exactly how good Colton is at serving.
All of These Unpotted Flowers
This Particular Branch of an Orange Tree
The luckiest tree branch in the world, TBH.
Nope to ALL of this.
This Starbucks Straw
Nope. Too easy.
This Barrier and Group of Humans
So many humans, but all we see is Colton Haynes.
Those Birds and That Young Boy
Everything in this picture forgot how to exist once Colton got there.