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Help for a child to integrate

I have been struggling for the past 2 years with my 5 year old son. He is unable to integrate with other kids. He always plays alone during breaks and I hardly find anyone who accept to come over to our place as a play date. He tries so hard and they always put him down. He asks a lot of questions usually when he plays with the kids which annoys most of his friends and sometimes acts younger than his age. He still cries at school when he doesnt like the food or someone says something rough to him. Recently, his best friend told him that he hates him and that made him so sad, he stopped eating. Sometimes it appears to me that at 5 the kids almost know what they are doing and my kid is still naive. He is bright at school though but Im afraid he wont keep the same energy if he keeps being put down and taken advantage of. I dont know how to address that. I tried with the school but they do not care much about integrating him with the rest of the class from a social perspective.H eis not bullied, but he is avoided and kids say not so nice things to him when he tries hard to be around them. i am so worry about my little boy. any suggestions?

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Bubbles12 Bubbles12 3 years
Here is a story about the big picture as you work hard on the present day: My husband was like this when he was a little boy. His mother arranged play dates too, and one friend stuck. It's all he really needed. He also wasn't doing well academically so in fourth grade she told him he was actually extremely smart, he just needed to work at school so everyone else could see it too. He tells the story "So I decided I'd just work hard" and he did show everyone. He has three college degrees with a 4.0 GPA and he is held in high regard in his work. One of his patients (a man about his age) said to him last week, "Could you adopt me?" I know just how that patient feels, that's how I felt when I met my husband too. The deep thinking, the deep heart and reflection that were a burden in a little boy socially with peers are traits so many of us (and them) treasure today. His mom was such a huge part of his success. She wasn't a doting, super affectionate "you can do anything" type, she was always just 'let's get this done' and very focused on activities, right food and the like. No magic, she was very pragmatic and positive. I thank her several times a year for the man she helped create. There is a very good chance there is a little girl who will grow up, treasure your son's deep thinking and big heart and say the same thing.
kurniakasih kurniakasih 3 years
As a mother to a young boy (he's 7) and has cousins who have similar age boys..I understand how you're feeling. Your son is in kindergarten, am I right? First year is always especially tough for everyone involved (including you. I've been there with you so I know how it feels). I remember sobbing because I was so afraid that my sweet, sensitive, baby boy was finally out there by himself in the 'world.' Yes, very dramatic pictorial but that's how I felt about it. For now, ask for numbers from your school to direct you to child's sociological expert, ask to give your son test. Or do your own research too, mum. As of now, don't force anyone from the school district yet or do legal action YET (my niece's mother did this legal move against the school p.s. it's a totally understandable move b/c of the ignorance of the school district the ramification was that she as well as my niece who is a young woman of cerebral palsy were mistreated throughout her school years and everyday was a constant battle for them until she graduated). If they keep insisting there's no such program in the school district, request to see the school counselor (every elementary has one--at least), and request numbers for you to contact (for every organization or etc) and find out where you can get your son to be examined. The thing is, while I do say don't jump too hastily to legal action, do fight and be clear about what you want done for your child. Seriously, sometimes the school needs some stern scolding from parents to wake them up too. Read up and learn about what's going on with your school district, reach out and find other mothers even in Kindergarten class and see if they know any resources, or can even band together during PTA meeting to bring up this issue. My nephew who's now 8 has had the same problem, and his mother has him examined and then because the public school system didn't want to help them out much (like your son, my nephew had a horrible time at the public school kindergarten), he was diagnosed with some form of autism, and because of the lack of resources and involvement in the public school district her son was in, my cousin turned into public charter school to enroll her son there. Take a look at that option (charter schooling), my nephew ended up entering Public Charter school and flourished wonderfully socially. It took him awhile 2 years or so to acclimate but now, he's doing great. It was a wonderful charter school as in the parents are very much involved in the education alongside with the teachers and students. Another option is home schooling these days have been gaining tremendous progress. Have you checked them out? And there are so many networks of home-schooling communities (so the children can still participate with each other and not lag socially). Don't be too afraid as well (not saying, be ignorant about it) because it can also be that we forget children 'grow' socially in different pace than what we expect. Sometimes it can be painful to watch when he's not necessarily 'fitting' in right away. Good luck to you and your family.
henna-red henna-red 3 years
My first suggestion is that you have him checked out and evaluated by a health care professional. He may be dealing with developmental issues that require a specific kind of help.....autism, ADD, dyslexia.....something like that. These issues don't neccessarily affect intelligence, but they do affect how a child (and adult) learns, processes and utilizes information and how they socialize. It could be that your son, and you would benefit from a professional diagnosis. People, and kids, can be very cruel when someone seems to be different. I would suggest, secondly, that if your son is not going to socialize without help at school, and if the school isn't going to help, first, that you look into the legal requirements that the school has to help requirements may need a diagnosis of some sort of disability or disfunction. I would also suggest, that until school is a positive environment for your son, you get him out of there. He needs a warm, loving, supportive environment and if school is not, if he's being bullied and called names then he's being damaged. And that needs to stop. St take him out of school, look into home schooling or some kind of alternative education venue. There isn't an answer to your issue that doesn't include you working your butt off to make things better for your son. This kind of thing requires a parent to go far out of the normal process to protect and to advocate for their child. It's a lot of work! But you're the only one who can, right now, do that. Look for a support group, maybe, of parents dealing with the same kinds of issues and for an association of professional dedicated to helping parents and kids with developmental issues. See what's local, if anything, but if there doesn't seem to be anything local, find a professional association online, and ask for advice. You can't depend on the school to make your son's life better right now. You may never be able to depend on them. And you may face some legal issues by doing what is best for him by taking him out of school. Get some legal and professional advice. You don't know what to do, so you need to talk to people who do, and that means professionals and parents further along in the process than you are now. Good luck OP. Protect your son. Don't leave that up to the school, they are failing him. There are a lot of schools and teachers unequiped to deal with developmental issues, whether they are educational or social....that's why parents have to step in and fill the gap, or work like hell to find resources and people to help. Bless you, and your son. I'll send a prayer and my best wishes for you and your family. Be strong. Don't allow anyone to strong arm you or try to force you to do what doesn't work for your son.

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