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I want to run away?

okay, real dad disowned me
step dad doesnt even bother with me
mom always put everything before me thinking 'I will understand' and just needs a reason to go at me
Cousin being a prick, always meddling with my life. also attempted raping me hence I cant stand seeing his face, ever but my mom just needs him near me all the fuking time.
friends are name friends
dont believe in relationships
been backstabbed countless times by people i TRUSTED more than myself.
Im a little bit mad apparently bt i just feel as if im not involved in anything
exams are getting on my nerves since my fatigue is getting in my way.
theres so much I wanna type but i cant since i feel really emotional right now to even think about what I wanna write, please help ;( kind words would be since T_T 
 im 16 btw thanks...

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henna-red henna-red 3 years
One other might want to consider a church or house of faith, (mosque, temple....) as a place to find social interaction in a safe place, and with, hopefully, adults who can set a good example of safe and appropriate behaviors. It might be the kind of place you can find a community of people who will support and embrace you. Also, Jewish community centers offer all kinds of programs and you don't need to be jewish. You are looking for places where you can be physicaly safe, and emotionaly nurtured. If things get to be intolerable, you may want to look into emancipation from your parents.....but if you do that, you'll need to have a safe place to land lined up....perhaps a shelter environment, where they help people/women get back on their feet. Bubbles is right, you really need to finish school. That is imperative. Being physicaly safe is the first priority though. Everything comes after safety. be well girl, and good luck to you
Bubbles12 Bubbles12 3 years
You've got a lot on your plate Anonymous. It's clear you not only don't feel like anyone cares about you, there are even people who actively want to hurt you. That has to hurt in of itself. I'm so sorry, this isn't what family should be. Just know you're not alone, a lot of people have ended up in similar circumstances, have not only survived but gotten away and thrived. Keep your eyes on the prize: the day you walk out to build your own life. And now do the things that will help you get there. 1. Keep your grades up so they don't hamper your choices. Get through school. 2. Pick a viable career path that earns a living wage. It doesn't have to be the career of your dreams, but a way you can get out. 3. Join clubs at school that keep you there longer, doing something positive and that help you build relationships with others in school. 4. Stay away from that cousin. Please tell your mom, or if you don't think she'll believe you, a teacher about him and what he tried to do, he's not someone you should be around. If you can't do that, stay away. Make sure there is always someone else in the room when he's there, hang out at friend's house to study, go to the library, stay at a friends house overnight if you can. 5. Find adults you admire who can hire you, teach you or just talk to now and then. Trust takes time. You literally can't trust someone until you've seen how they react to yours and their good and bad times. And you shouldn't depend on people or expect much from them until that's happened. A great meaningful conversation or several is not a short cut to trust. We all wanted to throw ourselves at people and get what we want from them, but that's asking for trouble and a child's way of seeing people. You need to learn to care for yourself first. Watch how potential friends treat their siblings, other friends, teachers, parents -- that's how they'll treat you. Go for the positive people. Don't run away to the streets. It's very dangerous and you'll be surrounded by people who want to take advantage of you. I met a woman who ran away because she thought no one cared (she was actually right, but her life wasn't in danger), was approached to become a model her first night on the streets in a donut shop trying to keep warm and was held hostage by the 'model agent' for years and prostituted out. Sounds extreme, but it's a true story. It's also a great example of how vulnerable you'd be. Don't do that to yourself. These might be the worst years of your life and they're almost over, two more to go! Hang on, it gets much, much better if you determine you are your best friend and you will always take care of yourself.

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