Dear Sugar
For the past few months I've been having disturbing dreams. They consist of my husband either having "relations" with my sister or some other kind of sexual act. In each dream she gives me a smile that just breaks my heart.

Here are two examples of why I am so upset with my sister. Once, we were attending the same party and my husband decided to stay home and watch football. My sister was planning to bring her boyfriend along, but when I told her that my husband wasn't coming she remarked that it must be because he's jealous of her boyfriend.

Ew, is she kidding me? The worst part is after she said it, she walked away and gave me the same malicious, sassy smile as she did in my dream.

Another time was during Thanksgiving. Our families got together and when it was time to go I couldn't find my husband. I went looking high and low for him and eventually found him alone with my sister. Again, she flashed me that same icky smile.

I've talked to them separatley about their flirting, but nothing has changed. Lately, my sister has been wearing these super tight and short outfits around him. He loves it and she thrives on the attention. I find it disgusting!

I'm tired of having talks with the both of them about this but it seems like my mind can't let it go and that's why I am having subconscious nightmares. Sugar, how am I supposed to cope with this? Sleepless Sula

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DearSugar,

My son, husband and I moved into my Mom's house last September. There
were certain situations going on in New Jersey and we didn't have anywhere
else to go. Ever since we moved into her house, my Mom refuses to get along
with my husband. At whatever chance she gets, she's badmouthing him behind
his back and insulting him. Why? Because she thinks that he should be a
responsible husband and father. Which he is. It's not the poor man's
fault that the job market sucks here in California at the moment.
However, he is trying very hard to find a job. He's even resorted to
retail since no computer firms are calling him back. And he's a computer
technician!

So, after almost a year of tension, and me getting caught in the middle
between the two, my Mom finally got into it with my husband. She started
going off on him, and told him to "get out."

So here's my issue. I love my husband dearly, and I miss New Jersey SO
much. (I moved out there by myself when I was 18) But at the same time,
my 3 year old son is in preschool here in California. However, I can't
STAND living with my over-protective, criticising and insulting mother any
longer. On the same note, there's no way we can afford ANYTHING out here
in California unless we have amazing jobs. (I'm with a staffing agency at
the moment.)

What do I do?

Stuck Shawna

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Dear Sugar

Help! About 2 years ago, I re-met a guy I knew while I was in high school. He had just recently divorced and I was fresh out of an emotionally
abusive relationship. We struck up a friend/relationship, but it didn't
last long because neither one of us was ready. We remained friends. About
8 months ago, I realized that I do still really care for him and want to
be with him. And I spilled my guts to him. He said he wanted to give it a
try and then backed out. I was devastated and told him to cut off all
contact with me. Well, I recently ran into him again and it was just like
old times. After all this time, I still can't shake my feelings for him. I
know through a mutual friend he is single. What do I do? I don't want to be
in this place again, but I can't help it. I know I will probably wind up
hurt again, but is the risk worth the possible reward? I feel so pathetic! Torch Carrying Christie

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