- Climax. No, just . . . no.
- KKK. For clueless people who have never heard of "history."
- Hathor, goddess of life. I really do love the Egyptian goddess Hathor, but A) she's not the goddess of life, and B) she has a cow's head. Methinks Kim would not approve of the comparison.
- Krystallized. There's a slider chain in the South called Krystal, and this name just makes me think of tiny hamburgers.
- Kim-ical Essence. Because nothing says awesome like chemicals.
- KK LOVE—the sweet smell of sexiness. This one is kind of great, I have to say. But I think there may already be a DJ in 1995 with the name trademarked.
- Smells Like Kardashian Spirit. Can't you just see Kim getting all grunged up for this campaign? Yeah, me neither.
- Konfidential. This is one thing the Kardashian clan is not.
- SeKc. Otherwise, how will people know that it's sexy?
- Ka-dash-strophic. Kim probably doesn't think so.
- Dash-Of-Me. I'm happy for Kim to have a scent, but I don't like the image of someone physically wringing her out into a bottle.
- Kendal Lendal Kardashh. Cute, but confusing.
- Loving ... by Kim Kardashian. This one would require an '80s-style perfume commercial with big hats and lots of sighing.
- KiMystery. I think for this one, she'd need to team up with that pick-up artist who always wears terrible furry hats.
- Jockin JLO. Come now, celebrities have been making perfumes for decades. In truth, everyone's just "jocking" Elizabeth Taylor.
- Rush. This is already a fragrance. From Gucci.
- Klues. This is clearly the flanker for KiMystery.
- William. This suggestion came, surprisingly, from a dude named William.
- Dafumez. Fumes, even with a "z," do not usually suggest a high-quality product.
- Gold & Egypt. Two great tastes that, uh, taste better on Kim Kardashian?
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On Wednesday afternoon, Kim Kardashian changed her Facebook status to "Ok now heading to a fragrance meeting. I need a name for my new perfume! Any cool ideas?" Three hours later, more than 8,000 people had responded with suggestions ranging from the rather usable to the patently absurd. I slogged through the responses to find the 20 most hilarious. Here's hoping Kim doesn't pick any of these names; see what they are when you keep reading.