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Brits Think Bottom Facials are a Bum Deal

I got such a kick out of this column about bottom facials. Apparently, this spa service is new to England, and a 30-minute session is £40 (about $80). The columnist, Carol Midgley, doesn't understand the appeal:

Unless you are the type of person who habitually drops their pants and moons in public (in which case you are Paul Gascoigne), then there’s only really your partner who sees the bloody thing. And if a man will dump you over a stray arse pimple, then I suggest you leave him. Now. Because he’s a nightmare.

Well, she has a point there. Butt seriously, folks (sorry, I can't help myself): go ahead and

I've also wondered about the point of facials for your bottom. I'm sure that with exfoliation, the rump is smoother and softer. Beyond that, though, is such a sybaritic service necessary? I know "assne" exists, but not to the extent that it does on the face and shoulders. (If you do have the occasional bottom blemish, that's okay, you know. It happens. They can be prevented by exfoliating your bum in the shower and wearing cotton grannypants rather than lacy little things that chafe.)

Nope, you won't see me lining up for a butt facial. Not even if it returned my bottom to its initial baby-bottomed smoothness. Because I am a bit neurotic, I would wind up spending the entire treatment time thinking anti-fart mantras such as "I hope that cabbage from lunch doesn't come back to haunt me." Which, of course, means that the cabbage will indeed unleash its noxious fumes upon the poor esthetician who's gingerly inspecting my tuchus for wrinkles. It's not for me, but I'm sure some readers swear by this treatment. Anyone brave enough to share?

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Join The Conversation
Hibalicious Hibalicious 8 years
ha ha assial! noo no megafie, honey thats different trust me! wow seriously i cannot believe it! i mean ya okay if ur a pornstar or a model or stripper then thats okk, in fact MAYBE then i'd do one but otherwise WTF!
megafie megafie 8 years
I got a seaweed body wrap that included the butt - does that count?? :)
Glosslizard Glosslizard 8 years
Spas could put together a face-facial and butt-facial package and call it the Cheek to Cheeks! ;) Seriously, this whole post had me giggling... thanks Bella!
Glosslizard Glosslizard 8 years
Spas could put together a face-facial and butt-facial package and call it the Cheek to Cheeks! ;)Seriously, this whole post had me giggling... thanks Bella!
welovepandas welovepandas 8 years
I need one but I'm not shelling out the money for something that no one needs to see.
lovelie lovelie 8 years
Didn't a character in Under the Tuscan Sun say that?
Feesje Feesje 8 years
Why do they call it a facial when it's not for their face? Shouldn't it be an assial or somenthing like that?
Feesje Feesje 8 years
Why do they call it a facial when it's not for their face? Shouldn't it be an <i>assial</i> or somenthing like that?
vienvien vienvien 8 years
It's such a waste of money to have this butt facial unless you're a porn star, or a showgirl or a swimsuit model
colormesticky colormesticky 8 years
I would so do that. Hahahahaha.
dmblauren dmblauren 8 years
all of my exfoliating occurs in my own shower. i've never had a facial (for my face or elsewhere).
diorbaby diorbaby 8 years
WOW! I love getting a facial, butt I have NEVER heard of a butt facial! How crazy!
CestLaVie CestLaVie 8 years
Never had one. I think that the best arse "facial" you could get would be to do one in the comfort of your own home- it is after all, an area you can reach pretty well although I don't know if I will be slathering any Mint Julep on my touche anytime soon. I buff and moisturize.
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