On the height of country music stars' hair, male and female: "When I was with my duet partner Porter Wagoner in Europe, we both had big bouffant hair. We used to fight over the hair spray. I think his hair was bigger than mine."
On the vicissitudes of wearing a wig: "One time I was riding a bicycle with my best friend Judy Ogle and I hadn't pinned my wig on all that well. We went to this little grove with an overhanging tree. As I cycled under it, I saw Judy crying with laughter. I turned around and there was my hair, hanging from a branch. I had to turn around quickly and snatch my hair off the tree."
"Then another time, I was doing a show and my fiddle player got his bow stuck in my hair. Every time he played a note, I could feel my hair piece lifting up. I was fighting to keep it on."
On being an amazing guitarist, even with three-inch fake fingernails: "I've always been able to play with them on. Of course, I do my best playing when I take off these acrylic nails, but I have learned how to work it with them on. My right hand is fine; they're like picks. It's my left hand I have to be careful with."
On who should play her in a Dolly Parton biopic: "There were rumors about Reese Witherspoon being up for the role, but we'd have to get her a big old boob job or a big old bra. I'm actually writing my life story as a musical, and I want Kristin Chenoweth to play me. People have asked, 'What about Taylor Swift?,' but she's too tall, too slim, and has no boobs. She's like a supermodel. You'd have to saw her legs off at the knee."
On getting ogled and insuring her legendary chest: "I've slapped a few people who didn't stare at them! This kind of money, they'd better be looking at them. No, I've not insured my boobs. I just paid a million dollars for them and I hope they look like a million dollars, too!"