How does having bits of fox fur stuck all over your pubic area sound? Or what about feathers instead? Well now, regardless of your preferred dead animal, you can have your very own festive temporary merkin. Cindy Barshop, the woman behind both "vajewels" and "vatoos," is now offering services called "Foxy Bikini" and "Carnivale Bikini" at her chain of Completely Bare spas. We won't force you to look at the results, but if you're curious, check out the pretty-much-NSFW photos after the jump.
The "Foxy Bikini," which will run you $140 in addition to any other service, is up top, and the "Carnivale Bikini," which rings in at a more modest $110, is below. Our main question, however, isn't about the price. It's this: with feathers in that area, how do you walk around or wear clothes? It doesn't seem like you'd ever make it to the bedroom, because you wouldn't be able to put your pants back on. And forget wearing a body-con dress or special lingerie; you'd have quills poking out and making weird shapes. Both designs are all natural (that's right, some poor little fox died for your crotch) and last a minimum of three days. What you do with the materials after that, however, is really up to you. Just don't ever, ever tell us about it.