17 Reasons I Am an Eternal Slave to My Long Hair

You all know the hashtag #LongHairDontCare. Well, for me, the saying is so much more than a fun rhyme to say and tweet — it's a life motto. There was a time in my life when my mane was just another thing to experiment with, as inconsequential as painting your toenails a different color every week. However, as I grew older, it became startlingly clear that my hair is not a plaything, but more like another limb — as consequential as trimming your arm for a "new look"!

I've generally had long hair throughout my whole life. There were a few periods here and there when I decided to switch it up, fleeting moments of curiosity that were immediately followed by deep regret. My senior year of high school — a very important year in one's life — I cut it so short that my shoulders would get breezy. Believe me, that was the least of my agony. The worst was feeling like a human mushroom for at least four months of my life.

Then there was that time during my punk phase when I tried out the rock 'n' roll mullet. Hey, Scarlett Johansson made the same mistake once, so I'm in good company. And just like any momentous life lesson, a mullet taught me to never go down that road ever again.

But then, just two years ago, I did it again. I felt the urge to subject myself to that rotating chair and have some grown man with better eyebrows than me chop it off. This time, it was only a few inches, and afterward, my length was still technically considered medium-long, but I still felt that excruciating pang of regret, and that's when it was solidified. I have to have long hair. And I mean a mermaid mane that goes way past my chest, Miley Cyrus's look from her "Party in the U.S.A" days.

I don't care if it's 104 degrees and humid out. I don't care that my strands regularly get caught on things — dress zippers, random cracks in the wall, underneath my purse straps. I don't care that it takes an inordinate amount of time to dry. I don't care that having the same hairstyle is undeniably boring. I am a slave to my long locks, and I will do whatever it takes to make my master happy.

On the upside, having long hair has its benefits. Here are 17 reasons why I'll always live by #LongHairDontCare.