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DRIVING MISS SELFISH

Dear Sugar
I just got my driver's license and I end up driving my friends around a lot. Recently, one of my good friends got her's also, but she refuses to drive anywhere.

She'll say that she doesn't want to drive, or that it doesn't make sense for her to drive if I'm going to drive, too. She always promises to give me gas money when we go out, but when it's time to fill up my tank, she makes up an excuse (like she doesn't have any money or she shouldn't be the one filling up my tank).

She comes up with these totally outrageous places for me to drive her to, and she makes me feel like I have to take her there - so I do. How can I get her to understand that what she's asking me to do for her isn't fair to me? Feeling Used Friend

Dear Feeling Used Friend
That's so weird. If she's a new driver, you'd think that she would want to be the one driving all of the time. I'll bet that she's either really bad behind the wheel or she's being cheap and doesn't want to pay for gas.

But why do you feel like you have to take her places when she asks? Just say no or, tell her that from now on you are going to take turns driving. If she's not OK with that explain to her that you don't want to turn this into a money thing, but she's really being unfair by not offering to pay for gas once in a while and you are getting upset with her lack of consideration for you.

Plus, it's expensive to drive around town now. Has she checked out gas prices lately? I am sure your friend is just pushing you to your limit and testing you. It's important that you have this talk with her ASAP because she's not being fair, and she's not being a very good friend to you.

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ethiopian_princess ethiopian_princess 10 years
i'm afraid of driving really because i get bored and multitask, so my friends drive a lot. i give them gas money sometimes though. just tell her to shell out some cash. it's uncomfortable to ask people for money, but she's rude for not offering. you can also stop by the gas station and see if she'll offer to pay for the tank. you're not a cab service
sanD13 sanD13 10 years
*oh i meant to say, "or else this [can] turn into a grudge"
sanD13 sanD13 10 years
i have a friend like that too. some people are just lazy/selfish and expect you to do all the driving. you need to let her know its not okay with you or else this turn into a grudge. its a shame when little trivial things can hurt a friendship, but it can happen.
nessabum nessabum 10 years
it could be what you said, ImCurly, but what's the reason behind not reimbursing your friend. that girl's being totally selfish.
TruJrzyGirl TruJrzyGirl 10 years
As a new driver, maybe she is scared to drive just yet, she needs practice ... Maybe her parents gave her a huge lecture about driving her friends around ... There is a reason why she doesn't want to drive, ask her
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