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Dating Someone With Debt 2010-09-30 06:00:54

I'm Asking: Would a Massive Debt Turn You Off a Guy?

A guy wrote to The Frisky admitting a dark secret — he owes $190,000 in student loans. Without a medical degree in hand, he's feeling quite ashamed of the debt and has stopped dating because of it. He said that he has great career prospects and is financially responsible, but can't help feeling that women will flee once they hear how much he owes. Would a huge debt be a deal breaker for you?

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vabeachbum vabeachbum 6 years
The fact that he specifically mentioned there is no degree in his hand is a turnoff not the debt itself. That makes me think that he had little direction and just went to grad school because either someone pushed him into it or because he was too scared to go out into the real world and thought he'd buy some time as a grad student. If there was an extenuating circumstance (he left school to take care of a dying parent or something like that) then I could understand... but I don't understand dropping out of school after you have already incurred that much debt... why not just finish and have something to show for it? And I agree with those who said it also depends on the plan to pay it off and the career prospects... if you've got a good job, a plan to pay it off and are clearly wise with your spending (you're not taking me out to $200 dinners while talking about how broke you are) then we can still talk.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 6 years
Well, it depends on his education level. Did he go to grad school? Also, it depends on his "great career prospects."
Spectra Spectra 6 years
Yep, that much debt would probably be a dealbreaker. You have to wonder about what kinds of behaviors got him into that much debt to begin with. Student loans are one thing; expensive cars, CC debt, gambling, etc. are a whole other ballgame.
amber512 amber512 6 years
My husband has a TON of student loan debt we are paying down and we are almost finished with his credit card. I wasn't aware of the full extent of the debt before we were married. I did know he had debt, but he was in charge of paying it and I never thought about it. Once I started writing the checks to all of our bills I realized how much it was. But then I just figured out a plan to pay it back. If I had known beforehand I wouldn't have wanted to marry him any less.
bronzebeauty719 bronzebeauty719 6 years
debt isnt so much a turn off as lack of career ambition is... i see that debt the same as i would see it if he had invested 190k in a company..its an investment in his future...
lilkimbo lilkimbo 6 years
It would really depend on what kind of debt it was. Student loan debt? sure, why not. Credit card debt? $190,000 of that would be a huge red flag for me, but because of the irresponsibility it is indicative of more than anything else.
tarabara1229 tarabara1229 6 years
If he's financially responsible, then I wouldn't have a problem dating. Now if he was taking me out on extravagant dates, then I'd question whether or not all that debt was student loans...
lickety-split lickety-split 6 years
no. why would it affect me? it would be a turn off to have someone i'd just met tell me their financial situation; good or bad. also doubt that this man will go w/o sex for the period necessary to pay off that amount. so then what????
MartiniLush MartiniLush 6 years
This wouldn't turn me off as long as he is being mature about it and has career ambitions and prospects, and a reasonable plan to pay that debt off. Many of us come out of university owing large loan debts, so I don't think he is the only one out there facing this issue.
Lovely_1 Lovely_1 6 years
YES! Sorry but thats the truth coming from me! I worked hard not to accquire a massive debt on my behalf!
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