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Handle This: She’s Cheap, But Rich

Though you have quite a few thrifty friends who you’re always more than happy to oblige by grabbing deli sandwiches over a dinner out, or a long walk instead of a trip to the movie theater, one friend in particular is notoriously stingy with her dollars. She constantly complains about being broke. In fact, half the time you end up paying the way for both of you and don’t see a dime in return.

When using her computer, you get a brief glimpse of her bank statement open on her screen. In her checking account alone she has three times as much money as you do. You’re totally shocked and can’t help but feel taken advantage of — she's been lying to you. Money is always awkward, so how would you handle this?

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lexichloe lexichloe 7 years
Simple. Don't pay for her anymore.
lilCROAT03 lilCROAT03 7 years
maybe she's saving up for a boob job?
i-am-awesomeness i-am-awesomeness 8 years
That doesn't mean she was lying!! It says it right there in black and white 'notoriously stingy'. Stingy is NOT synonymous with poor. Was Ebenezer Scrooger poor? No, he was just stingy. She really is stingy if she makes you pay for her all the time though. And people consider 'broke' differently. Someone might feel broke when they can't afford two Hermes Birkin bags a year. Another person might consider broke not being able to buy groceries. Just don't offer to pay for her anymore and if she tries to put it all on you, ask for separate checks in the beginning of the meal. If you don't want to confront her about this (and you shouldn't, as you had no business snooping in her personal affairs), then just say that you want to keep better track of your spending, and it's easier if you have a separate check, and a separate receipt.
i-am-awesomeness i-am-awesomeness 8 years
That doesn't mean she was lying!! It says it right there in black and white 'notoriously stingy'. Stingy is NOT synonymous with poor. Was Ebenezer Scrooger poor? No, he was just stingy.She really is stingy if she makes you pay for her all the time though. And people consider 'broke' differently. Someone might feel broke when they can't afford two Hermes Birkin bags a year. Another person might consider broke not being able to buy groceries.Just don't offer to pay for her anymore and if she tries to put it all on you, ask for separate checks in the beginning of the meal. If you don't want to confront her about this (and you shouldn't, as you had no business snooping in her personal affairs), then just say that you want to keep better track of your spending, and it's easier if you have a separate check, and a separate receipt.
Asia84 Asia84 8 years
i dunno, money is not a thing with me and my friends. we have dinner, lunch, drinks, whatever. no one keeps track of who paid what. regardless if they can afford it or not.
Asia84 Asia84 8 years
i dunno, money is not a thing with me and my friends.we have dinner, lunch, drinks, whatever. no one keeps track of who paid what. regardless if they can afford it or not.
sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
When I get my student loan I often have three times as much money as anybody else, but that's because it is my living expenses for three months!I wouldn't do anything other than cut back on how much I was paying for things. I don't pay for things for other people often anyway.
sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
When I get my student loan I often have three times as much money as anybody else, but that's because it is my living expenses for three months! I wouldn't do anything other than cut back on how much I was paying for things. I don't pay for things for other people often anyway.
italianblonde italianblonde 8 years
Well if I had been paying for a lot of her meals or drinks and she didn't pay me back, I'd be kind of pissed!! I understand that the rich don't spend their money all crazy because that's how they stay rich, but come on..using your friends' money for things whether you're rich or just 'comfortable' isn't 'friendly' at all!!!
Jesi_Oh Jesi_Oh 8 years
Well I have a fair wad of cash in the bank atm but its coz I'm saving for an o/s trip so I don't count it as actual "money". I basically think you can't say anything and should just stop paying her way so you don't feel taken advantage of, its her money and her business and you have to be REALLY carefull mixing with friendships and $$'s issues!
amyerin amyerin 8 years
People, I dont think this is a "true story" I think the idea of having three times as much in her account is just a way for the author to tell a story about how she really does have a lot of money... All these assumptions that her checks might not have cleared yet is irrelevant! If this is the case, like it is with so many of us and our one or two pennie pinching friends- I'd say don't be an accomplice to their habits of miserly-hood. In other words stop offering to pay! If they agree to go out with you then they should agreee to footing their portion of the bill.
amyerin amyerin 8 years
People, I dont think this is a "true story" I think the idea of having three times as much in her account is just a way for the author to tell a story about how she really does have a lot of money... All these assumptions that her checks might not have cleared yet is irrelevant! If this is the case, like it is with so many of us and our one or two pennie pinching friends- I'd say don't be an accomplice to their habits of miserly-hood. In other words stop offering to pay! If they agree to go out with you then they should agreee to footing their portion of the bill.
ella1978 ella1978 8 years
I have a nice savings account and some mutual funds, 401Ks, Roth IRA's with a little money in them. But I still say I'm broke. All the money in the savings is in case something should happen (like car dies, if I get fired, etc) and the rest is for retirement. I don't touch that stuff. My wealth at the moment goes by how much I have in my checking account. That's my expendable income. It's not my fault if someone else lives more freely and spends all that they make. Trying to save and live at the same time is hard to do. It's only going to get worse when there are kids in the picture. How much money you have and how rich you feel is all relative & everyone has their own budget, not always is a bunch of lunches out with your friends in your budget. At the same time, I don't mooch off anyone either. I'll turn down an invite if I don't have the funds before expecting someone else to pay.
ella1978 ella1978 8 years
I have a nice savings account and some mutual funds, 401Ks, Roth IRA's with a little money in them. But I still say I'm broke.All the money in the savings is in case something should happen (like car dies, if I get fired, etc) and the rest is for retirement. I don't touch that stuff. My wealth at the moment goes by how much I have in my checking account. That's my expendable income. It's not my fault if someone else lives more freely and spends all that they make. Trying to save and live at the same time is hard to do. It's only going to get worse when there are kids in the picture.How much money you have and how rich you feel is all relative & everyone has their own budget, not always is a bunch of lunches out with your friends in your budget.At the same time, I don't mooch off anyone either. I'll turn down an invite if I don't have the funds before expecting someone else to pay.
radmama27 radmama27 8 years
Shouldn't have looked, but it was there, and most humans have a hard time resisting a temptation like that. Is her job higher paying? Does she have a lot of bills? Some checks might not have cleared? Was it her tax return and/or economic stimulus check in that bunch of money? Those are all things to take into consideration. But I would really now stop paying her way, and maybe cut down on the amount of time spent together, if you really want to do something with her that costs more money than she has been willing to spend, maybe don't see her for a while, and then make plans in a week advance, and she will probably come around. Also, if she has a lot of money just sitting in checking, it should be in savings or a money market account for better interest.
radmama27 radmama27 8 years
Shouldn't have looked, but it was there, and most humans have a hard time resisting a temptation like that.Is her job higher paying?Does she have a lot of bills?Some checks might not have cleared?Was it her tax return and/or economic stimulus check in that bunch of money?Those are all things to take into consideration. But I would really now stop paying her way, and maybe cut down on the amount of time spent together, if you really want to do something with her that costs more money than she has been willing to spend, maybe don't see her for a while, and then make plans in a week advance, and she will probably come around.Also, if she has a lot of money just sitting in checking, it should be in savings or a money market account for better interest.
aerie087 aerie087 8 years
i completely agree with what most people said here: the richer the person usually the stingier they are. (horrible grammar there >.<) my friend lives in a mansion, drives a BMW and wears the nicest clothes but when we go out, she wouldn't even drop me off at my house and tells me to take the bus cause it'll 'waste her gas' and she would HAVE me always drive her around town like im her chauffeur even though she has a perfectly functioning luxurious car in her garage.
aerie087 aerie087 8 years
i completely agree with what most people said here: the richer the person usually the stingier they are. (horrible grammar there >.<) my friend lives in a mansion, drives a BMW and wears the nicest clothes but when we go out, she wouldn't even drop me off at my house and tells me to take the bus cause it'll 'waste her gas' and she would HAVE me always drive her around town like im her chauffeur even though she has a perfectly functioning luxurious car in her garage.
Jeny Jeny 8 years
Maybe she has debt she has to take care of and really is broke.. or needs to save her money for a big purchase that is important.. either way.. you can't bring it up cuz it's none of your business
K-is-For-Kait K-is-For-Kait 8 years
If I didn't know about it in the past, I would feel crappy about it but I wouldn't pick a fight over it. I'd just consider it a nice favor I did and let that be. I'd say you stop paying for her in the future. Don't tell her you checked her account, but let it be known that you're struggling to keep your finances in order and you can only afford to pay for yourself. If she's too stingy to pay for things herself, don't invite her out and let her play you for the money anymore.
K-is-For-Kait K-is-For-Kait 8 years
If I didn't know about it in the past, I would feel crappy about it but I wouldn't pick a fight over it. I'd just consider it a nice favor I did and let that be.I'd say you stop paying for her in the future. Don't tell her you checked her account, but let it be known that you're struggling to keep your finances in order and you can only afford to pay for yourself. If she's too stingy to pay for things herself, don't invite her out and let her play you for the money anymore.
emalove emalove 8 years
I wouldn't say anything, but I'd stop treating her and paying for her dinners/drinks and such, that's for sure.
quietriott quietriott 8 years
i have a friend who is mad at another friend for not wanting to spend her money on going out for drinks, but spent money on a nice pair of shoes to wear to her new (first) post-grad job, and really yelled at her about it. i thought it was uncalled for, and said so because what people spend their money on is really no one else's business - especially another friend. if the friend is taking advantage of your generosity, stop treating her all the time. but remember, it was your choice to be generous and unless there was an agreement that she would reciprocate or pay you back, she technically doesn't owe you anything - though it is always nice for someone to treat back. but also, if you are the one offering to treat her when she says "i can't afford it" then it is that - a treat. my grandfather (who is 95) taught me to be generous with time, money, and love, but not always to expect something in return - that is the nature of being generous. while it is wonderful when someone reciprocates, it should never be expected.
quietriott quietriott 8 years
i have a friend who is mad at another friend for not wanting to spend her money on going out for drinks, but spent money on a nice pair of shoes to wear to her new (first) post-grad job, and really yelled at her about it. i thought it was uncalled for, and said so because what people spend their money on is really no one else's business - especially another friend. if the friend is taking advantage of your generosity, stop treating her all the time. but remember, it was your choice to be generous and unless there was an agreement that she would reciprocate or pay you back, she technically doesn't owe you anything - though it is always nice for someone to treat back. but also, if you are the one offering to treat her when she says "i can't afford it" then it is that - a treat. my grandfather (who is 95) taught me to be generous with time, money, and love, but not always to expect something in return - that is the nature of being generous. while it is wonderful when someone reciprocates, it should never be expected.
brookrene brookrene 8 years
agree with martini also. :)
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