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I'm Asking: What Work Jargon Makes You Cringe?

I'm Asking: What Work Jargon Makes You Cringe?

Each workplace has its own language. It could be a companywide greeting ("Hello! Welcome to Gap!"), so-called inspirational sayings, or status report type terms ("You can just go ahead and get me that by EOD. Thanks!"). While a shared vocabulary does a long way in terms of keeping communication precise and direct, it can also wear at you.

At one of my first jobs out of college, my boss had a habit of saying "let's sit down with our red pens and put our heads together" at least once a week, which would prompt my entire department to shudder (I think I can still see us all shaking!). What word or phrase makes you look up at the clock and wish for the weekend?

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aimeeb aimeeb 7 years
I just hate the fact I hear about "t&a" all day here. It's a huge frat house.
jenehfur jenehfur 7 years
oh my gosh, i talk about this all the time! i work on planning and forecasting budgets, and everyone i work with seems to use the word 'peanut butter' as a verb!!! things like "we need to peanut butter the allocation over the next 6 months" which i guess can be interpreted to "spread evenly" but it drives me nuts!! and everyone says it like its a common, obvious thing. that and "get together". you need to "get together" with so and so and work on whatever. how about meet? talk to? discuss? it's always GET TOGETHER. bleck!!
mishegas mishegas 7 years
One I used to hear a lot: "No need to reinvent the wheel!" Oooh, I, it... argh!
cvandoorn cvandoorn 7 years
Ok, so this isn't really office jargon, but rather annoying. Instead of knocking on the door (or cubicle door) when it is closed, employees actually say "knock knock". It drives me NUTS!
sorrowja sorrowja 7 years
I working in Payroll and the HR person drive me up the wall with this . . . Me: Hi this is . . . HR Person: Hi this is . . . . "The Situation Is" And she does this on every call if I speak with her 5 times in one day this is what I have to go through. After hearing what she has to say I'm thinking to myself really that's the situation . . . really. Oh and when my boss isn't in and she wants to leave her a voice message for her. She said "can you pop me into her voice mail" . . . straight idiot I can't stand it.
luna08 luna08 7 years
:) "All-hands meeting"! Sounds verrry gropey!
brittanygh brittanygh 7 years
I just read another blog a few days ago discussing this. There, the author lists all of the office jargon that drives him nuts:
hyzenthlay20 hyzenthlay20 7 years
Dialogue. My principal LOOOOOOOOOOOOVES this word. He uses it to replace all sorts of words that it shouldn't replace: talk, confer, meet, meeting, etc. He's also really big on having the state standards posted on our walls. I have mine up, and pointed them out to my students, and they told me that that didn't help them at all. Totally justified what I think about the standards, but for some reason all other adults (parents and administrators) seem to think they are the best thing since sliced bread, and that they help our students know what they are supposed to know. Yes. That's how they have been described. UGH!
itsme3683 itsme3683 7 years
All-hands meeting. Yeech.
Spectra Spectra 7 years
I really, really hate it when people from the ER run over to us and hand us something and say "I have a STAT flu for you to run". Because that means I have to stop everything I'm doing and run that test. I also can't stand it when doctors order a urine culture and write "UTI" on the if they already know that it's going to be a UTI before we even do the damn culture. Also, I hate it when nurses and the people who process the samples we get decide to make up and/or misspell names of antibiotics/drugs...amoxofen, Vancyl, Cipoflaxin, etc. It drives me crazy because I have to either call them and ask them what they really meant or play psychic and try to guess what the actual drug is.
luna08 luna08 7 years
"Think outside the box." It's hard to believe anyone still says this, but they do!
amers230 amers230 7 years
I have a thing against acronyms as slogans, which my company seems to love. We've actually had a "test" on what some of theirs stood for! They always seem so grade school to me.
shydcgirl28 shydcgirl28 7 years
Ooo...something else that burns me...making up words!! As if synergy weren't bad enough - we have derivatives "synergistically", "synergetic" and "synergenious". I'm sure you've all heard variations of words that already don't exist...grrr Utilization - as defining how your time is spent; consistently not charging things to the clients because "we don't want to overcharge them" which then drives utilization down because I'm reporting actual client project time to training!! So it looks like...I'M NOT WORKING... Oh yes... and usability - my company has an expert in usability - we have no idea what this guy does Gee, I thought I was done...I love my job, I love my job, I love my job
Smart-Living Smart-Living 7 years
Thanks for the catch, chatondeneige!
erocka erocka 7 years
In my company, the partners have grown accustomed to using "cycles" when asking if you have the time to take something on. "Do you have free cycles?". "Let's see if Joe has the cycles for this." That drives me insane. As a project manager, I use the word "resources" for everything, and that is almost as annoying as cycles!
marcella marcella 7 years
First of all, never badmouth synergy! I also agree about the 100+%! I hate it when people say, give 110% percent. Drives me mad!
chatondeneige chatondeneige 7 years
Dear, I think you mean shudder, not shutter! Shutter is a noun, and shutters go over windows! ;) I'm with shydcgirl, any time someone suggests anything is more than 100%, I want to SCREAM!
kscincotta kscincotta 7 years
As a scientist, it drives me nuts when my boss comes through asking who's got "datums". He knows it's wrong, but he thinks it's funny so he keeps saying it. It's been years now! It's not funny! He also likes to describe really tedious, annoy tasks as being "character building". ARGH!
shydcgirl28 shydcgirl28 7 years
How in the heck do I redouble my efforts when I'm already giving 100% since I can't give 110%!?! Sorry. rant over.
shydcgirl28 shydcgirl28 7 years
Frankly speaking, if we all redouble our efforts and put in 110%, I feel that at the end of the day our bottom line will be in the black and no one person's position will be impacted. BTW - I left this meeting scratching my head...
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