Brody Jenner, Former Prince of Malibu, drummer in the band Facehumper and starlet-dater extraordinaire, has finally opened up about the heartache of his failed Hollywood relationships. That, or blowing the cover off of how fake it all really is. In next month's issue of Details, Brody and his "manager- slash- publicist-slash- agent-slash-stylist" Spencer (aka, the d-baggiest character on all of reality TV, which is saying a lot) sat down to talk about all the nonsense. Here's more:
- Spencer gave Brody invaluable advice on who to date:"Here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna start dating Nicole Richie. And you're gonna get that skinny bitch to eat, all right? You are about to become The Guy Who Got Nicole Richie to Eat. Process that sh--, bro. You'll be, like, a f---ing hero to America."
- On his relationship with Lauren Conrad: "Basically," says Jenner, 23, "I made it, like, my mission to try to go on a date with every girl on The Hills."
- On the crazy world that is LA: "This whole scene, this whole town – it's so fake," he says. "It's like a movie set, like my life is a movie set. These people, they all think it's real, but it's not."..."I wanna meet a girl who has nothing to do with L.A., a nice, normal, real girl."..."Actually, you now, that's gonna be a component of our new MTV show – me leaving L.A. to meet a normal girl. It might be hard, though, with all the cameras."
Ah yes, though he may sound like a creep with the Nicole Richie stuff, at least he's an honest creep? And a cute creep? That too. I'd say that maybe saying this all out loud will hurt his chances of sleeping with further MTV reality starlets, but who's kidding who here -- he'll keep doing just fine.