"I Have a Little Half-Asian Butt," Plus More Things We Learned About Chrissy Teigen Today

Updated on 8/7/2014 at 5:25 PM

Chrissy Teigen graces the pages of Esquire's September issue, and true to form, she looks amazing. The model sports multiple sexy swimsuits in the shots and even gets photographed doing some light yard work in a red bikini. Chrissy, who has garnered attention this week for her nearly perfect (and drunken) first pitch at a Los Angeles Dodgers game, talks about everything from her love for fast food — specifically McDonald's — to her headline-grabbing Twitter presence and working on her "little half-Asian butt" in the gym. The most ironic quote, though, has to do with her disdain for the beach; despite being a swimsuit model, Chrissy said, "Sand is disgusting. I get all Larry David at the beach and want every piece of sand off me." Keep reading for more things we learned about Chrissy during her Esquire shoot.

She's done a Master Cleanse: "I looked at a Wheat Thin one day and got teary-eyed. You know those cartoons where the head of somebody becomes a turkey? That Wheat Thin looked like a f*cking turkey. My mouth was watering."
She's not ashamed of her love for fast food: "If I'm going to eat fast food, I'm going to McDonald's. I don't need to pretend."

She's obsessed with John Goodman: "I feel like part of me will die when John Goodman dies."
She's not as mean as she seems on social media: "I'm much nicer in person than on Twitter."

She's sad about her butt: "I didn't know butts were a thing until I was 23. Then came Jennifer Lopez and people were like, 'That butt is great.' Now you have to have a butt. It sucks for me. I have a little half-Asian butt, and the more I work out, the more I try to get it bigger, it's just going to get flatter and harder."

She's a day drinker: "I usually stop when it gets dark to avoid hangovers."
She's not a fan of the beach: "Sand is disgusting. I get all Larry David at the beach and want every piece of sand off me."

She's all for cheese: "American cheese is the most underrated cheese."
She thinks cats are 'the devil's children': "People love to say, 'My cat is great. He's just like a dog.' I always think, 'Well, get a f*cking dog!'"

She'll do anything for her dogs: "[Chrissy's Bulldog] Puddy recently lost control of his bowels on a flight to Los Angeles, and [I] put his fecal matter in [my] purse and held his doggy butt over the toilet."

She's got her priorities straight: "I'm going home to make soup."