What Kate Middleton Was Really Thinking on the Royal Tour

We've spent the past three weeks watching the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge as they toured New Zealand and Australia, and while we've seen Kate elegantly maneuver her way through playdates with Prince George, a visit to the zoo, and even awkward moments, we hardly ever see her breaking a smile. Which always makes us wonder what she really thinks of her royal duties. Since we'll likely never hear her thoughts on the matter, we decided to put our imagination caps on and guess what the duchess was pondering during some of her biggest tour stops.

"Oh No, William, Don't Bother to Help. This Is Very Easy."
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"Oh No, William, Don't Bother to Help. This Is Very Easy."

"William! You Dolt!"
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"William! You Dolt!"

"Well, He's Rather Cute, Isn't He?"
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"Well, He's Rather Cute, Isn't He?"

"Oh, George, Please!"
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"Oh, George, Please!"

"OMG — Best Day of the Tour!"
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"OMG — Best Day of the Tour!"

"William, I Swear. Stay Back!"
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"William, I Swear. Stay Back!"

"I Hope My Assistant Has Hand Wipes."
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"I Hope My Assistant Has Hand Wipes."

"Oh, Not Again."
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"Oh, Not Again."

"But I Wanted to Feed the Giraffe."
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"But I Wanted to Feed the Giraffe."

"Georgie, Please Stop Squirming During the Photo Op. It's Almost Over."
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"Georgie, Please Stop Squirming During the Photo Op. It's Almost Over."

"Oh Dear, Georgie's Fussy. Where's Nanny?"
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"Oh Dear, Georgie's Fussy. Where's Nanny?"

"Om Nom Nom Nom."
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"Om Nom Nom Nom."

"Sorry Not Sorry, Wills."
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"Sorry Not Sorry, Wills."

"We're Going to Need a Bigger Plane For These Gifts."
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"We're Going to Need a Bigger Plane For These Gifts."

"Oh, William, Just Relax."
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"Oh, William, Just Relax."

"Stop Laughing at William's Hat. Get a Grip, Catherine!"
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"Stop Laughing at William's Hat. Get a Grip, Catherine!"

"I Know, William — I'm a Much Better DJ Than You."
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"I Know, William — I'm a Much Better DJ Than You."

"Why, Oh Why Did I Wear These Shoes on the Grass?"
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"Why, Oh Why Did I Wear These Shoes on the Grass?"

"Oh, Great. More Stuffed Animals. Yay."
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"Oh, Great. More Stuffed Animals. Yay."

"That Was a Close One!"
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"That Was a Close One!"

"Listen, Boys, Things Would Be Different If I Wasn't Wearing Heels."
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"Listen, Boys, Things Would Be Different If I Wasn't Wearing Heels."

"Cetherine?! Just Fix the A — OK, Do It Subtly. Come on, Catherine."
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"Cetherine?! Just Fix the A — OK, Do It Subtly. Come on, Catherine."

"Just Keep Your Eyes Up, Catherine. Just Keep. Them. Up."
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"Just Keep Your Eyes Up, Catherine. Just Keep. Them. Up."

"I Want It!"
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"I Want It!"

"Hmm, Remember When William Had All His Hair?"
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"Hmm, Remember When William Had All His Hair?"

"Careful. Careful."
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"Careful. Careful."

"That's Right, William. You Go Get in Back."
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"That's Right, William. You Go Get in Back."

"Someone Hands William a Spear, and Suddenly He's an Expert."
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"Someone Hands William a Spear, and Suddenly He's an Expert."

"Note to Self: No More Heels For Grass Events."
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"Note to Self: No More Heels For Grass Events."

"William Skateboarding? Ha-ha-ha!"
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"William Skateboarding? Ha-ha-ha!"

"What If I Just Banged on All These Drums and Blamed It on the Kids?"
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"What If I Just Banged on All These Drums and Blamed It on the Kids?"