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2008 Super Bowl Commercials: Five of the Worst

This year's mixed bag of Super Bowl commercials included some cute, funny ones and others that were baffling, bad or downright offensive. Seriously, how did the SalesGenie panda spot make it on TV at all? It's just wrong. To see what else made my "worst of 2008 Super Bowl commercials" list,


Pandas thing, SalesGenie:

More and more viewings of this commercial only manage to confuse me further. Why do some of the pandas have this outrageously offensive accent but the all-knowing guru panda (who wears a turban and pink lipstick?) does not? Why are there baby pandas at the end? Was their panda marriage re-ignited by SalesGenie? How is it possible that this commercial made it on the air? So very puzzling.

Planters: "Perfume"

So, girls who aren't pretty can only get the boys if they rub cashews on their skin. Gross. Weird. Not funny. Also, the Dell ad for Product Red had basically the same premise, but that guy wasn't offensively ugly — just vaguely nerdy and normal-looking. I love me some double standards.

Bud Light Carlos Mencia: "Picking Up Chicks":

What did I learn from this ad? That chicks love foreigners? That white boys should fake accents so they can stare at women's boobs? That women don't like it when people make derogatory comments about their thighs? And that's all supposed to make me want beer?

Bridgestone: Richard Simmons "Headlights":

Richard Simmons generally gives me the creepy feelings in the tummy, but when there's a seemingly evil person speeding a car toward him — also, get out of the road, Richard Simmons! What are you doing? — it's downright crazy-making.

Garmin: "Napoleon"

This one wasn't bad so much as baffling and obscure. The reason Napoleon always kept his hand in his jacket was because that's where he kept his GPS device? Um, OK. But if you're a mapping company, is Napoleon really the leader you want promoting your product? Sure, go ahead and follow him; not my fault if you end up dead at Waterloo.

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