Pretty much all the suspense of last night's season premiere of "America's Next Top Model" was gone with one look at this picture from the CW that revealed which of the first 33 contestants would make the final 13. But no matter — there was enough pure crazy in the first episode to make it worth watching. I mean, one girl gave Tyra a simulated bikini wax right there on the judges' table, leading Tyra to exclaim that "any girl who gives me a simulated kitty-cat wax is fine with me." I can only imagine what precedent this will set for future cycles.
Anyway. The episode started with the 33 hopefuls boarding a cruise ship in Puerto Rico, where Tyra surprised the girls by making her first appearance in a feather-adorned getup for a little cabaret number, surrounded by gay sailors. (My boyfriend's comment: "The kangaroo costume was better.") Then came a boatload (...get it?) of whining, cattiness, backbiting and posturing between the girls as they prepared for their auditions in front of Tyra and the Jays. For more about the auditions and to see a gallery of all the contestants,
The auditions featured a whole lot of weird moments, including one girl pulling a straw paper out of her nose and another being made to walk like a high-fashion butterfly and robot. (That went well.) There also was the usual complement of sob stories from girls who had drug-addicted mothers, blindness in one eye, and Asperger's Syndrome.
In the end, after a photo shoot on the beach, the girls were cut to the 13 finalists, including Heather (the girl with Asperger's), Victoria (a Yale student who thinks some of the other girls are dumb), Jenah (who seems like a good candidate for house brat), and Sarah (who's too big for regular modeling and too small for plus — so, in other words, a normal girl). At this point, I'm rooting for Sarah, but I have a feeling Lisa will end up winning it all. Who's your early pick?
Photos courtesy of The CW