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"American Idol": My Thorougly Uneducated Predictions

"American Idol": My Thorougly Uneducated Predictions

I never bother tuning into "American Idol" until Hollywood Week — that way, I get to skip the freak show of the auditions while still catching some of the truly awful contestants on their way out. As soon as the top 24 are announced every year, I make a snap judgment about the winner. I totally picked Carrie Underwood, but I've failed miserably every other year.

This year I'm putting my guesses out there for public ridicule. Based on about 10 seconds of singing per contestant, I've made my picks for the top 12 and set my heart on the big winner. Let us all promise to look back on this list and laugh. To see my choices and my totally blind pick for the next American Idol,

The Guys

  • Sundance Head: After hearing him warble his way through Hollywood, I'm not sure how he's gotten this far — so I might as well assume he'll be a baffling entry in the top 12.


  • Blake Lewis: Please, please, please, can we have a beatboxing American Idol? That would so vindicate this show for me.


  • Sanjaya Malakar: Fulfilling our cute, young boy quota for the year.


  • Brandon Rogers: We got a lot of babble about him being a backup singer ready to step into the spotlight, which makes me gag, so I'm a little ashamed to say I really like his voice.


  • Paul Kim: His "thing" is to perform barefoot, and also to wear the same pair of underwear on every elimination day. Maybe I'm underestimating people, but I think that's the kind of gimmick America goes for.


  • Jared Cotter: He gets a spot solely because he didn't sing "Some Kind of Wonderful" like every. other. single. contestant.

The Girls

  • Gina Glocksen: She's got style, and because she made it to Hollywood in Season 5, she's already got fans.


  • Jordin Sparks: Fulfilling this year's teenage girl with a voice beyond her years quota.


  • Melinda Doolittle: Background singer, ready to shine, blah blah.


  • Stephanie Edwards: Just a hunch. But she has a cool voice and a good look for "Idol."


  • Amy Krebs: She seems kind of sassy. I like that.


  • Antonella Barba: Someone who bugs the daylights out of me always seems to make it through.

The Top Three
Brandon, Blake, Stephanie

And the next American Idol will be ...
Stephanie. Sorry, Blake, I still love you.

Photos courtesy of Fox

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Join The Conversation
Underdog Underdog 8 years
Here's my top three Lakisha, Melinda and Blake, Next Idol will be Lakisha Despite I like Blake and Melinda.
calibabi calibabi 8 years
i'm an avid AI fan...and i can't believe you didn't predict chris sligh as going further!! he is my favorite by far. i'll be rooting for him till the end!!! go chris!!! (but to be fair, i'm also a fan of the beat boxer and sundance...so good job with those predictions) by the way...is it just me, or are the boys way better than the girls this year?
Bonne Bonne 8 years
Yeah, I think with his jazzy tone and Dad who is in music - Sundance has a chance
JennyJen2 JennyJen2 8 years
Lil -Clay Aiken a bad contestant? I thought he was pretty good and considering he sells albums - I think he did pretty good on his own too? I am a litte confused by your reasoning. I agree about an annoying contestant getting through though - that Mickella Gordon was sooooo annoyinhg - I think she was two seasons ago.
HeatherStJoeMI HeatherStJoeMI 8 years
I agree with Cravinsugar about Sundance Head. I like Jordin too. And to whomever is bugged by Antonella I hope she goes quite far.
cravinsugar cravinsugar 8 years
I think you are wrong about Sundance Head buzzsugar. Although he didn't do well in hollywood, he belted out a bluesy song in auditions and sounded awesome. If anyone has ever been to Memphis there are lots of no name blues bands that can wail and I hope he makes it far. :-) _________________________________________________________ Why don't you wear the face you have when I am not around?
kristyrk kristyrk 8 years
I have watched all the way through and I think (even though I totally agree about how overly obnoxious she is) that Antonella will go pretty far. I dont think that she is the best singer, but we all know how the american public pulls through on voting through bad contestants! (ie: 1st seasons Nikki McKibbon, 2nd seasons Clay Aiken and voting out J-Hud from the 3rd season.)
emisaurusrex emisaurusrex 8 years
I really hope Stephanie doesn't win... I'm not sure why, but she bothers me. And she looks slightly like Fantasia... and honestly, we don't need another Fantasia. I'm personally a fan of Jordin. I don't know if she'll win, but I like her.
WhatTheFrockBlog WhatTheFrockBlog 8 years
I probably won't watch until they get down to the top 5 (if I watch at all) but I have to (kind of) toot my own horn to say that, last year, after seeing Katharine McPhee's FIRST audition, I said to my boyfriend, "She's totally going to win." And, okay, she didn't win, but she came damn close!
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