Sad. The students at UCLA were trying to get new Los Angeles resident Conan O'Brien to give the commencement speech at their upcoming graduation, but he said "no." I think they were on the right track with a comedian (especially one who has done well with this in the past) instead of an actor, like their earlier choice of James Franco.
This got me thinking of my fantasy graduation ceremony, which would feature a Jon Stewart speech. Do you remember his amazingly hilarious speech to the class of 2004 at the College of William and Mary? Here's a snippet:
Today is the day you enter into the real world, and I should give you a few pointers on what it is. It’s actually not that different from the environment here. The biggest difference is you will now be paying for things, and the real world is not surrounded by three-foot brick wall. And the real world is not a restoration. If you see people in the real world making bricks out of straw and water, those people are not colonial re-enactors — they are poor. Help them. And in the real world, there is not as much candle lighting. I don't really know what it is about this campus and candle lighting, but I wish it would stop. We only have so much wax, people.
See? Comedians make good graduation speakers. Who would you have wanted at yours?