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Comedians Giving Graduation Speeches

Buzz In: Which Comedian Would You Have Wanted at Your Graduation?

Sad. The students at UCLA were trying to get new Los Angeles resident Conan O'Brien to give the commencement speech at their upcoming graduation, but he said "no." I think they were on the right track with a comedian (especially one who has done well with this in the past) instead of an actor, like their earlier choice of James Franco.

This got me thinking of my fantasy graduation ceremony, which would feature a Jon Stewart speech. Do you remember his amazingly hilarious speech to the class of 2004 at the College of William and Mary? Here's a snippet:

Today is the day you enter into the real world, and I should give you a few pointers on what it is. It’s actually not that different from the environment here. The biggest difference is you will now be paying for things, and the real world is not surrounded by three-foot brick wall. And the real world is not a restoration. If you see people in the real world making bricks out of straw and water, those people are not colonial re-enactors — they are poor. Help them. And in the real world, there is not as much candle lighting. I don't really know what it is about this campus and candle lighting, but I wish it would stop. We only have so much wax, people.

See? Comedians make good graduation speakers. Who would you have wanted at yours?


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Join The Conversation
kmckay kmckay 6 years
louis ck!
kmckay kmckay 6 years
louis ck!
spicyaroma spicyaroma 6 years
In the future of course, I've got a few good years before I get to that level :)
spicyaroma spicyaroma 6 years
Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert or Seth MacFarlane!
simplyfab87 simplyfab87 6 years
Jon Stewart
simplyfab87 simplyfab87 6 years
Jon Stewart
Nitachequita Nitachequita 6 years
John Kerry spoke at my graduation. While a comedian would be entertaining enough, I think an actor would be fine too... Jodie Foster, for example, who exemplifies higher learning.
Jinx Jinx 6 years
Right away my brain said Jon Stewart, so I agree Buzz!Bill Mahar would be cool too, as would Seth McFarlane.
Jinx Jinx 6 years
Right away my brain said Jon Stewart, so I agree Buzz! Bill Mahar would be cool too, as would Seth McFarlane.
leeluvfashion leeluvfashion 6 years
Cr*p, forgot to list Stephen Colbert.
leeluvfashion leeluvfashion 6 years
Conan O'Brien, Seth MacFarlane, Robin Williams or John Stewart. I could not choose.
Molly Molly 6 years
I had Walter Cronkite who basically told us that we were graduating into a world that was going straight to sh*t. My brother/husband (not the same person, they just graduated together) had Bill Keller at theirs and I loved the speech.
amandax53 amandax53 6 years
I graduated this year and I had Jimmy Fallon as a speaker at mine(Saint Rose). I thought he was pretty entertaining, who knew he was a computer science major before decided to do comedy.
MeiGaku MeiGaku 6 years
i go to UCLA and i'm very glad they didn't have Franco--i'm not graduating this year, but i definitely do not think he is qualified to speak...hey makes a lot of money, yes, but being famous doesn't mean you inspire others to pursue their dreams, etc. i would LOVE to have ellen degeneres or colbert... would most definitely be amazing.
tlsgirl tlsgirl 6 years
Stewart or Colbert. For sure.
hiptobesquare hiptobesquare 6 years
I would have loved Chris Rock, even though we never get anybody like that, being such a small school.
genesisrocks genesisrocks 6 years
I think the consensus is gonna be for stewart or colbert and I must agree.
kayedizzle kayedizzle 6 years
Well, I think my class would really have taken anyone last year seeing as both Bill Clinton and Ariana Huffington both canceled on us at the last minute. So we ended up having a wholly unprepared peer give us our commencement address. Lame. That said, I would have loved Colbert!
pharm_chick pharm_chick 6 years
i would love to have either jon stewart or steven colbert
bingbingboom bingbingboom 6 years
Stephen Colbert
bingbingboom bingbingboom 6 years
Stephen Colbert
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