First things first: What on earth was up with that gravy boat-shaped hairdo that Danielle was sporting on this week's "Desperate Housewives"? Maybe it was a requirement in exchange for more screen time? Anyway, this episode was highly informative ... at least, in regard to Orson. Everyone else got nice and comfortable on those back burners, with the exception of Susan's big moment.
Also, I think this is one of the episodes that was filmed in Marcia Cross's actual home, with the set for Bree's home built in. Throughout the episode, Bree was only seen lying down, and I kept wanting to yell at the other characters to just leave the poor pregnant lady alone! She seemed tired. For more on this week's episode for those who have seen it or for those who don't mind spoilers,
From last night's show, we learn that one night years ago, Orson's mother, Gloria, asked him to stay home with his father, but instead, the teenager sneaked out, only to return to his father in the bathtub with slit wrists. Thus, Gloria has held Orson responsible for his father's death and keeps doing the crazy, evil things she does because of it, which seems like really flimsy logic to me. I always thought Gloria would turn out to be smart-crazy or interesting-crazy, not weird-crazy. And then Gloria decides that she wants Alma and Orson to be married and give her grandchildren. And Monique's death? All Gloria's doing, partially as payback for Orson "killing" his father.
Fast-forward to Episode 15, when Gloria locks Alma in an attic and sets about murdering her son's other wife, Bree. When she drugs Bree and drags her into a bathtub, about to slit her wrists, Orson bursts in and basically beats his frail, elderly mother to the ground. Before that, however, he says to her, "You've done this before," implying that Gloria killed his father, made it look like suicide, and held it over Orson's head his whole life.
During their scuffle, Gloria suffers a stroke, and Alma tries to escape from her attic only to fall to the ground and die. Orson carries his mother over to lie with Alma's body, so that a neighbor will find the two and assume Gloria had a stroke upon finding Alma's twisted corpse. In the soap opera-y karmic end, the stroke leaves Gloria paralyzed and unable to speak, but her brain is fully functioning.
So it kind of looks like most of the mysteries were all tied up and solved last night. Monique's murder is solved, Gloria is taken care of, and Alma is dead so she can't have Orson's baby. It's nice that they didn't drag them out too much, but besides Paul Young, there aren't any more real mysteries to keep us coming back each week, which is a little disappointing.
In the other plot lines, the Scavo pizzeria opens and Tom goes a little insane. Lynette orders the wrong chairs, then borrows chairs from everyone in town, and all is good. Tom realizes that chairs don't matter as long as you have a wife like Lynette to make a just-in-time speech about it. Ian asks Susan to marry him and she says yes. In a monkey-see-monkey-do kind of reaction, Zach jumps on a table and proposes to Gaby, who hauls him outside and breaks off their friendship. Finally, that impossible-to-believe plot line is over! Carlos, who has become a totally relaxed, cool guy, admits that he is having trouble being just Gaby's friend.
And the most uncomfortable moment of the night goes to... Carlos getting a peek at Zach's penis in the men's bathroom. Gaby is dismayed when Zach leads her to believe that they had sex while she was drunk, and she asks Carlos to talk to him. In the men's room — which, according to TV is the place to have important man-to-man conversations man to man — Carlos glimpses Zach's gigantic endowment and reports back to Gaby that they didn't have sex because she would remember. Providing an unnecessary visual, he slaps a massive sausage that's hanging from the ceiling, causing the thing that is supposed to look like Zach's unit to swing. Not cool! If it were any other character it might be funny, but because it's creepy Zach, it's just nauseating.
What did you think of last night's episode? Anyone else as weirded out as I was by the sausage?
Photos copyright 2006 ABC