Little MJ is used as a pawn in a couple of the housewives' little schemes in this episode of Desperate Housewives which is all about — you guessed it — bargaining. Everyone wants something in this episode, be it a divorce, a marriage, an invitation to a sleepover, sex every day for a month, or to wear makeup. To chat about all the bargains, wins and losses, read more.
Susan — Jackson's back in town (arriving just in time to hear all about Mrs. McCluskey's butt boil, ew) and he wants something from Susan: Her hand in marriage! Not for love, but for citizenship, as Jackson is apparently Canadian and needs to get married in order to stay in the U.S. Even though Susan still has deep feelings for Jackson, she agrees to have a completely platonic marriage with Jackson so he can stay in the country. Thus, Dave's plan to get MJ and Susan alone has now become more difficult.
Bree — I still don't totally grasp how or why Bree came so quickly to the decision to divorce Orson, but OK. Now she's hell-bent on making sure she fully retains her business in the divorce. To this end, Bree aims to hire the sleaziest, sneakiest lawyer in town: Susan's ex-husband, Karl. But first Karl needs Bree to somehow convince MJ to invite Karl's kid Evan to a sleepover. MJ is resistant, and understandably so — Evan hit him with a dead squirrel! But Bree explains that she has someone in her life who "hits her with a dead squirrel every day," and MJ's the only person who can help her. So, the little boy relents, invites Evan (and seems to become buddies with him at the sleepover, which is cute), and Bree gets her lawyer.
Gaby — Little Juanita wants to wear makeup and look just like her mom because some kids at school saw Gaby and said that Juanita must have been adopted because she's not as pretty as her mother is. In Gaby's efforts to convince Juanita that real beauty comes from within, she finds herself agreeing to attend a fancy event without any makeup. She can't make it through the night, however, and applies some makeup just before photos are taken of the Solis family. Gaby then tries to explain to Juanita that even though she was pretty, she was also an empty "shell." She wants more for Juanita — she wants her to have the rich, gooey center.
Lynette — Tom wants to have sex with Lynette every day for a month, but it's challenging when Lynette works all the time and is so exhausted she falls asleep right in the middle of gettin' it on. Tom admits that he's so intent on having sex with Lynette because she's the only aspect of his life that he's passionate about, but he needs more than that. Lynette wonders what else he's passionate about, and Tom says he doesn't know.
Katherine — Katherine instructs MJ to ask Mike why he hasn't married her yet, and Mike "tap dances" around the topic, to Katherine's frustration. Finally Mike comes clean with her about not wanting to ever get married again, and Katherine does a little soul searching, wondering if she can accept being with Mike without that commitment.
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