The fifth season of Desperate Housewives is set five years in the future, and while it's a pretty big change-up for the show, all the old DH elements are still there (sexy secrets, mysterious new neighbors, unruly kids, etc.). It's a refreshing change of pace to shuttle all the Wisteria Lane residents into the future and then gradually dole out bits and pieces of what happened during those five years. Truthfully, without this little tactic I'm not sure I'd be interested in the show anymore.
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Susan — So, here we go. Susan and Mike were in a car accident that they both survived, but that the other car's passengers (a mother and her baby) did not. Susan is deeply haunted by this, still believing that they "killed" the mother and baby. Apparently the stress of the whole thing took its toll on their marriage, and Mike left Susan. Now Susan has a hunky painter named Jackson who's totally into her, but she can't bring herself to enter into a relationship with him, claiming she doesn't deserve to be happy. Maybe I'm a sucker for drunk singing scenes, but I kinda loved it when Jackson took to the stage to sing about how he wants to be Susan's boyfriend.
Bree and Katherine — Uh-oh. What happens when two Type A ladies go head to head? Perfectionistic backstabbing, that's what. We all probably saw this storyline coming from a mile away but it's fun to see it play out anyway. Katherine is upset when she discovers that Bree stole Katherine's recipes to put in her new cookbook, so when a TV crew comes to interview Bree, Katherine embarrasses Bree by making her spin sugar on the spot, a technique Bree hasn't yet mastered. In a flashback we learn that Danielle took her baby away from Bree, effectively breaking Bree's heart. Since then, it seems, Bree has thrown herself into her career.
Gaby — OK, I know it's wrong to make a kid run after a car, but I could not stop laughing at this part; good old Gaby still up to her manipulative tricks. In many other ways, Gaby has changed considerably. Now that she's accepted being a mother to two kids (with a supportive, but blind, husband), she's been fully de-glamorized. No more cute little outfits or styled hair. In many ways, this Gaby is way more humble and grounded than she ever was before. But this doesn't mean she's happy. She thinks her youth and beauty are gone, and she worries about her little girls not being beautiful. To make matters worse, Gaby overhears some other mothers snarking about how permissive a mother she is, saying her daughter is overweight because Gaby never tells her no. Sidenote: can you imagine being the kid who gets cast as Gaby's chubby daughter?
Lynette — Ugh. Tom Scavo could be written off the show and I'd be happy. How selfish is he? His twin boys, now teenagers, are wreaking havoc left and right, and walking all over Tom and Lynette. Tom, perhaps experiencing a bit of a middle-age crisis, has bought a cherry red convertible that he cherishes more than anything (or anyone, really). When Lynette sees Tom buddying up with his "awesome-ass kids" instead of laying down the law and punishing them, she gives the boys the keys to Tom's car for Homecoming night. This (a car!) finally gets through to Tom that their kids are irresponsible and don't adhere to the rules, so he yells at them when they come home.
Edie — Edie's back, ladies! And she's married a mysterious fellow named Dave. Though he appears calm and polite, Dave apparently has dangerous rage issues — though apparently there's only one person (presumably someone on Wisteria Lane) who should be worried about those rage issues. . . but who?
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