I'm really glad we got some more Orson on this week's Desperate Housewives because otherwise I would have been pretty fed up with it. In general the writing on this show isn't exactly award-worthy, but this episode is pretty ridiculous. Also, I think I need more Katherine in my life. There were some things that made the episode worthwhile, though (including Carlos's sweet line, "We have lost nothing that matters. I've never been happier in my life."), so to chat about it all,
Susan — Ugh, ugh, ugh. Susan's storyline annoys me to no end. Mike runs into Jackson at Susan's house and declares that he's going to hang out with Jackson, one-on-one, to make sure Jackson's OK to be around Mike and Susan's son (did you notice that they have gotten around actually calling the kid "Maynerd" by nicknaming him "MJ"?). First off, this strikes me as preposterous (what's wrong with all three of them hanging out?), but more so is the fact that apparently Susan has no say in the matter, even though she clearly doesn't like the idea. Why does Mike get to make this decision? And then, when the two men hang out, Mike tells Jackson about Susan's "secret" turn-on (also, since when is nibbling on an ear a "secret" turn-on?), so Susan really forbids them from hanging out again. Mike obviously doesn't trust her to take good care of their son or choose good men. This seems like a problem. Finally, Susan's other ex-husband, Karl, is dragged back onto the show just to make one more Jackson-meets-another-one-of-Susan's-exes joke. Oy.
Bree — I found the Bree-Orson story most compelling, partially because I sympathized with Orson, but also because he's just such a funny and great character. Theirs is an age-old problem of one spouse (Bree) neglecting the other (Orson) because she is focused almost entirely on her career. But in this case, the issue of Orson's jail time comes up, and Orson thinks Bree feels ashamed of his prison record when he only did it because she gave him an ultimatum. I think that Bree's line about being terrified of failing is interesting. This is really what's behind her need to be perfect all the time.
Lynette — Lynette creates an account with a fake screen name on a Facebook-type social networking site so she can fool her teenage son into telling her things about his life. Her alter-ego and Porter become online buddies. . . but then Porter develops feelings for this mysterious girl. . . who is actually his mother. OK. Sure. Fine. Oedipus for the technological era. Icky, but I get it. But when she emails him to "cut things off," would she really sign it "Love, Mom"? And of course, she has now created even more trust issues with the kid. At least this week Lynette's story doesn't involve life-threatening diseases or Tom berating her, but come on. This is almost Susan-level dumb.
Gaby — So, Gaby and Carlos are strapped for cash and Carlos takes a job as a masseuse to rich folks at a country club. Just when Gaby's excited to actually be invited to one of the season's biggest social events, she and Carlos are officially "disinvited" because the party is at the country club where Carlos works and the other guests would not feel comfortable mingling with "the staff." Of course, Gaby insists on going anyway because she wants to feel wealthy and important again, but they get kicked out and Carlos explains to her that being rich doesn't make anyone happy. You know, I understand that Gaby doesn't have the money for a new dress, but surely she has some makeup leftover from her old days? I know that the point is that she's now frumpy and everything, but how frumpy do they have to make her? No makeup at all to a formal event? Sheesh.
Edie — This Dave character is one of the creepiest-looking dudes ever. Clearly, he's up to no good and has a master plan for someone on Wisteria Lane. I'm a little surprised that Edie ever agreed to move back to the Lane in the first place — she must have known she'd hate it. Anyway, when Mrs. McCluskey makes a crack about Edie's boobs (best line of the night from Mrs. McC: "I say she's easier to get into than community college, she says my face looks like a knee. It's fun!"), Edie decides they must move. Dave can't have that, so he pays Mrs. McCluskey a visit and ultimately frightens her into apologizing to Edie, which she does. Now Mrs. McC is super suspicious of Dave, and it looks like she's going to go digging into his past next week.
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