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Gossip Girl Recap: Episode 14, "The Blair B*tch Project"

Gossip Girl Rundown: Episode 14, "The Blair B*tch Project"

Gossip Girl is back! And while the episode title has Blair's name in it, the night belonged to Jenny. Oh, young, desperate-to-fit-in Jenny. While — like Rufus — I kind of wanted to shut her in her room and ground her for life, she is a fighter and may shape up to be a worthy Blair nemesis after all. This episode also revealed just how Pollyanna-esque Serena can be — she was all rainbows and unicorns (except around Chuck). Perhaps that's what a little Dan in your life will do.



Don't forget to check out Geek's tech quiz, and Bella's beauty quiz and here are my thoughts on what went down with the kids back from Spring break:

  • Uh . . . that Breakfast at Tiffany's dream sequence thing was a cute idea in theory, but mostly it was just kind of nonsensical — and it didn't really tell us anything new about Blair.
  • And Chuck kicks off being Serena's brother by smoking pot in her bathroom, then ups his trademark ick-factor by responding to Serena's plea not to call her "sister" because they don't share DNA and never will with, "Then I suggest you get new hand towels." Ew!
  • We learned right away it ain't cheap being "Queen Bee" — Jenny owed one of her new friends $120 for brunch! If my memory serves me right, that is a lot of babysitting. But there are perks to Jenny's new crew as well, including her trip to Aspen on a private jet.

For more awesomely disgusting zingers from Chuck and the rest of my thoughts on the return of GG, read more.

  • The Bass-Van Der Woodsen wedding planning was in full swing, with Bart Bass laying the guilt on thick for Chuck to be on his best behavior during the planning. Soooo, that's an oxymoron. One of Chuck's best/grossest lines of the night came when a mysterious package arrived for Serena. When Lily asked her to keep that dirty package off the table, Chuck's response was, "If I had a dime for every time I've heard that . . ." What?! Ew!
  • Speaking of Lily and Chuck, the most naive statement of the year goes to Lily who said — in all seriousness — to her daughter, "Chuck may be eccentric, but I doubt he’s diabolical." And the most accurate statement of the year goes to Serena's brother when she grilled him on why he was spending so much time with Chuck: "Chuck is fun!" Hard to argue with that.

  • I loved that the biggest piece of gossip Serena had for Blair was that some girl got her number into Brody Jenner's cell phone. Not that it's hard —if you're a female and you breathe, I'm pretty sure Brody's open to taking your digits.
  • So, by Serena's mysterious inappropriate package No. 2, I was certain Chuck wasn't behind the deliveries and pegged it immediately to Georgina Sparks, Michelle Trachtenberg's character whom anyone with Internet access knows is about to be introduced. Did anyone else find that subplot a wee bit predictable?
  • How cute is Nate when he's being protective of Jenny? For some reason I love him as the nice guy (even more than Dan) and thought he was totally endearing last night. Jenny should stop using him for popularity and fall in love already!
  • Dan and Serena yawn, boring, they're in love. Bring on Trachtenberg.
  • Blair's photo-cake Jenny birthday bash was pretty genius, but Jenny was on her way to self-destruction anyway, because she stole her friend's mom's $15k dress. I was mortified for her. I love Dan's brotherly concern: "Dad's worried you're turning into a hideous cyborg."
  • Anyone else see some flaws in Jenny's logic? She's offended that Rufus thought she was ashamed of her background — but then went on a whiny tirade about how it sucks to be the girl who has to eat a brown-bag lunch.
  • For all that OMFGing that was swirling around, there was a noticeable lack of sex in this episode. It wasn't so much "steaming" as it was "scheming."
  • Was Chuck Bass wearing a cardigan with bass on the front? Ha!

So Blair was back to her evil ways, but she wasn't on top for long. Jenny pulled a Nate out of her pocket — which, it turns out, is more valuable than seats at Butter. I'm glad, though: If Jenny was knocked off her throne in one episode, that would be lame.

So, what do you think this Georgina character has on Serena? Do you think Chuck's dad is too harsh on him? Was last night the kind of return to form you'd expect from the best.show.ever?

Photos courtesy of The CW

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