Hello Gossip Girl fans! This week's episode is all about sharing bloodlines and keepin' it in the family (so to speak). When the episode opens, Dan is avoiding Serena because apparently now that he knows they share a sibling it's giving him the heebie-jeebies — and he can't talk to her about it. Serena thinks the worst heebie-jeebies he could possibly feel are due to their parents possibly being in love again. Meanwhile, Uncle Jack receives some unexpected news that sets him on a course to destroy his nephew Chuck just as the little guy seems to be cleaning his act up thanks to the love and support of Blair. Nate and Vanessa are back, too! So much to discuss, so to get talkin',
- Right off the bat we see Uncle Jack teasing Blair about whatever it is they did on New Year's Eve. She doesn't seem too worried he'll tell Chuck, though. Strange. . . I need more specifics.
- I love the reading of the will when they tell Chuck that Jack's his new legal guardian! Their exchange is fun, starting with Chuck: "Curfew?" "None." "Girls sleeping over?" "Yes, please!" "I accept."
- Turns out Bart left a letter to his son that Chuck doesn't want to read because he thinks it will be full of chastising questions like "Why are you such a disappointment?" and most hilariously, "Why do you wear so much purple?"
- But he does read it and it turns out Bart has faith in his kid to take over Bass Industries, which makes Uncle Jack mad — so he sets about scheming.
- Meanwhile, Eric's telling Serena that Jenny is an annoying third wheel now that she's back at school with no friends. When Eric says he wants to hang out with his boyfriend alone, the old Jenny rears her head and gets really bratty about it. I hate to see those two fight!
- Ugh, so most of the episode Dan's carrying around this crazy huge secret which leads to all kinds of tangled webs like Blair's mean girls asking Gossip Girl herself to "put a hit out" on Dan. This means the entire Upper East Side kicks him around and looks through his stuff.
- Remember that episode where Dan was really nice to Blair and listened to her go on and on about her love problems? What happened to that good will? She totally kicks him when he's down — literally!
- Serena thinks Dan is acting weird because their parents are getting back together and I thought it was cute when Serena tells him that her mom would tell her about it because she's so honest with her: "Too honest. . . Like supposedly Sarkozy was a bad kisser."
- Nelly Yuki and the mean girls are on fire in this episode! Blair is too distracted to properly supervise them, and notes, "I see they act alone now. It's so hard finding obedient minions."
- Yay! The little mini Serena and Blairs are back to harassing Dan! They're very upset with him because Gossip Girl says he's cheating on Serena ("How could you do it?!?!"). They also know Vanessa's name because of her history with Dan and then landing Nate ("Talk about failing upwards").
- Speaking of Nate and Vanessa, apparently they're so coupled up they're celebrating an anniversary? Yawn.
- When the news finally breaks that Dan and Serena have a half-brother out there, the Gossip Girl post is pretty witty: "At least Romeo and Juliet didn't share DNA."
- Serena, while reflecting on this new development and how it affects her relationship with Dan, utters what I think a lot of us were thinking, "Now I share a sibling with my boyfriend. That's a little more hillbilly than I can handle."
- Oh man, which brings me to the totally dramatic development having to do with Andrew, Rufus and Lily's son. The adoptive parents, fearful that the powerfully wealthy parents will stop at nothing with their lawyers and such, tell Rufus and Lily the kid is dead! But then we learn that he so is not.
- Oh! And Lily and Rufus have sex and later show up to the loft holding hands.
- I thought it was funny that Jenny and Eric think this new sibling totally makes them family! All better. And Dan and Serena are more like, "Well I guess we'll sort of date and not think of the ickies!"
- Finally: Go Blair! Chuck was set up but he didn't have to party with his uncle and he really didn't have to hang out with those trashy girls and he really didn't have to spit the mean wife line at Blair. He deserves to be dumped. She deserves better.
Blair and Chuck are finito! Uncle Jack is evil and in power! There is a guy named Andrew out there who is not dead and related to a lot of people on this show — I wonder when he'll show up? What did you think of this episode?
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Photos courtesy of The CW