There's always talk of how manipulative Gossip Girl's Lily can be. Some say she's a bad mom because she's been married a lot and is overly concerned with appearances at the expense of her own children. But I've always thought she seemed cool. Ever since Eric came out of the closet and especially after Bart Bass died, it's been clear Lily has a heart and is protective of her children — even step-children like Chuck.
However, on this week's episode, an uglier side of Lily shows up — and leave it to Serena to be the reason. The fallout that results after Gabriel takes off with Lily's rich friends' money (and Dan's tuition — d'oh!) is fun to watch, as it brings the entire gang together. It's all nonsensical, and everyone has a ridiculous plan riddled with holes, but ultimately, it's super entertaining. It also reveals just how evil and warped Lily can be. Ready to talk about it? Just
- The show opens with Chuck in the back of a cab, toting around the newly religious Georgina and telling Serena over the phone that he knew Gabriel was a shadester ("His suits never did fit right"). Georgina's so religious, she won't even drink from Chuck's flask with him.
- Meanwhile Rufus is — I'm not even kidding — humming and telling random people to "have a great day!" because "Serena's boyfriend let me in on an investment that could pay for both your colleges!" Seriously, Rufus, listen to yourself! Any sentence that starts with "Serena's boyfriend" is the most ridiculous sentence of all time.
- I sort of understand why Serena wouldn't want to tell Lily, but her big idea is so lame. She calls Gabriel to tell him she's pregnant. Oh, brother.
- I love when Chuck's like, "It's obviously time an expert takes over this operation." I also liked when he wouldn't let Gabriel out of his hotel.
- What is Dan's deal? He tells on Serena not once, but twice! He rationalizes this because it's his tuition money that's gone — but wouldn't the person to talk to be his own father?
- Also, what financial-type person leaves a message with a teenager saying the dividends should be on their way?
- Is it just me or does Eric look adorable when he's warning Rufus not to marry his mom?
- Which leads me to Lily's "plan." Paying everyone back who lost money to her daughter's boyfriend seems straightforward enough, especially since she can afford it. But paying Rufus dividends forever? Um, that's straight-up insane.
- And then there's poor Georgina, who just wants to love Jesus but has to go to a set-up lunch with Poppy. I loved when she tells Poppy she's a Charlotte and asks if she's a Carrie and talks about bringing the Internet to poor children so they can watch Kirk Cameron movies.
- Blair on Poppy: "She's so evil she makes the evil Georgina look like the new Georgina."
- After Blair lays into Georgina ("You're evil. You know it. I know it. And God knows it, too") she quickly snaps out of her Godly spell and tells Blair, "You can tell Jesus that the b*tch is back."
So Lily sends her own daughter to jail. Harsh. Also, the writers finally offer us a coherent reason why Chuck can't be with Blair: he's way too self-loathing. So he does the thing people do when they love someone and lets her go by telling her it's all a game to him. Liar.
Was Dan wrong to tattle on Serena? Was Serena wrong to try to handle this mess on her own? Is Lily evil? Are you glad Georgina's evil again?
Photos courtesy of The CW