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Gossip Girl Recap: Season 2, Episode 3, "The Dark Night"

Gossip Girl Rundown: Episode 3, "The Dark Night"

OK, why is Gossip Girl so hilarious right now? I can't take any of it seriously, but I'm really loving how ridiculous this season is. I think I had at least three "spit out my water in laughter" moments on Monday — you?

While I, a grown adult woman, am having fun watching, GG's not doing much to quiet those "totally inappropriate for teenagers" complaints and in fact poured about a gallon of fuel on that fire last night. Nearly every plot point pivoted around sex: who's having it, who's not, who wants to have it but can't, who's getting paid to have it, who only has it to avoid talking about "issues," etc.


This episode starts out hot (literally), then gets dark (also literally, see Chuck lurking by candlelight above), at which point things really heat up (figuratively). Here are some of my thoughts from last night:

  • Does anyone else find the constant references to Dan and Serena's "issues" kind of funny? It totally reminds me of high school and the need to psychoanalyze relationships with vague, adult-ish terms.
  • How'd you like those three little Dan/Serena stalker girls in the park? I thought they were hilarious and slightly creepy but ultimately a welcome respite from Dan and Serena's PDA/"issues"-speak.

To see the rest of my thoughts on Chuck, Blair, the Lord, and Nate the gigolo, read more.

  • So yeah, Nate's a gigolo! Or sex slave . . . or something. His body's being held hostage by an evil "aging beauty enjoying her last hurrah before the surgeries start," as Blair puts it.
  • And Nate's a moron for telling the Duchess where his dad is. Think, Nate, think!
  • Back to Serena and Dan for a moment: I'm just not sure why he gets so mad that his girlfriend comes with perks that make life a teensy bit better. I know: He has overriding philosophical objections to the uber-wealthy and their ability to get away with stuff the rest of us can't — but I think he needs to choose his battles. Getting righteous over a shortcut out of that elevator is pretty annoying.

  • Chuck can't have sex with random girls. Ha! Is that karma talking? How'd you like his cigar jacket, by the way?
  • I loved that when Dan asks Serena how her day went, her answer is, "Chuck had a Japanese stewardess over today."
  • Nastiest line of the night goes to Serena, who warns Chuck, "You are not using Blair as sexual Drano." I needed a hug after that.
  • Blair also does some scheming around Nate, dragging poor Vanessa into it. "You think I'm just going to sit back and watch you have an affair on my boyfriend's mother? Guess again!" Oh the tangled, icky webs these kids weave.
  • A really funny moment after the lights go out: Vanessa asks Blair if she's seen Nate, and Blair replies, "Um, no. It's a blackout."
  • I nearly died of laughter when Chuck appears in the dark bedroom where Blair is waiting for her Lord and speaks in an accent. That is exactly why I watch this show.
  • I liked the story around Eleanor Waldorf and Jenny bonding, especially when they send Rufus and his new girlfriend (?) to fetch sandwiches.

Ding-dong, the Serena/Dan relationship is dead! Are you as happy as I am? I'm all for love, but . . . they're boring. Are you rooting for Nate and Vanessa? What about Blair and the Lord?

Photos courtesy of The CW

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