After last week's foray into psychology, things seem to be back to normal on "House". House and the team treat a 16-year-old who passed out during a make-out session with his girlfriend, while he bickers with Cuddy about giving his parking space to a researcher in a wheelchair, leading House to spend a week wheeling himself around the hospital to prove he’s more deserving.
We're introduced to the patient, Stevie, while he and his girlfriend are making out in their car in a deserted parking lot. Well, deserted except for a cop, who tells them they have 10 minutes to get out of there. The girlfriend apparently wants to make the most of those 10 minutes, so she whips off her shirt, but Stevie suddenly can’t breathe. No joke I could make here could possibly be appropriate, so why don't you just
House arrives at work only to discover someone else's name on his parking space. He learns the space now belongs to a new researcher in a wheelchair, whom House quickly confronts: "Sweet ride! I asked for the one with the sissy bar and the banana seat." They bicker over who has it worse, and House takes his whining to Cuddy, who says House couldn't survive a week in a wheelchair. House takes that as a dare and gets himself a chair.
Stevie, meanwhile, won’t tell the doctors how to find his parents. His girlfriend lets it slip that Stevie and his parents are Gypsies, and the doctors can't go to his house because outsiders are considered unclean. His parents somehow end up at the hospital, though, and they take over Stevie's treatment by putting him in regular clothes and decorating his hospital room. Foreman, who's been bonding with Stevie over their shared love of science, tells Stevie's parents the doctors need to control the environment, and Stevie's dad — whose sole personality quirk seems to be constantly chewing a toothpick — responds that they do, too.
House suggests an experimental drug for Stevie, but his parents refuse it, and Stevie starts bleeding from his stomach. Meanwhile, House and the researcher basically play a round of passive-aggressive Murderball in the hall.
Stevie goes into surgery, and Foreman starts to think the team’s diagnosis is wrong, so House heads down to the O.R. to check things out. There's a great shot of House waiting impatiently for the elevator (life isn't all sunshine and good parking spaces now, is it?) before bumping himself down a flight of stairs, getting to the O.R. just before the surgeon closes Stevie up. Ultimately, of course, he discovers he was wrong.
House tells Wilson — within earshot of Stevie's parents — that Cuddy isn't going to "gyp" him out of his parking space. Well, I guess that had to happen. Meanwhile, Foreman and Cameron discover a toothpick — remember his dad's toothpick? — poking through Stevie's bladder, liver, and spleen. Apparently Stevie swallowed the toothpick, and while making out with his girlfriend, it got pushed through his vital organs. Dad blames the girlfriend; the girlfriend blames the Dad. While I'm no fan of toothpick-chomping, I’m not sure his dad’s habit made Stevie swallow one.
Foreman gives Stevie the toothpick — which, yuck, but I can see how for a science-obsessed kid that might be cool. Foreman says there's an internship open in their lab, but Stevie won't leave the family business. Besides, he tells Foreman, the doctors are smart, but he doesn't see wedding bands on their fingers. Random, but true.
House tells Cuddy he's made it a week in the chair, and Cuddy says she knows about the surgery. I wonder who ratted him out. She taunts him, and he limps toward her (with a bit more exaggeration than usual), yelling that she never had any intention of giving him the space, did she? We close with a montage: Stevie leaving the hospital; Foreman eating dinner alone; House passing by his parking space and seeing his name on the sign again. Everybody wins! Except Foreman.
Photos courtesy of Fox.