Well, it wasn't snakes. Might as well get that out of the way.
This week's "House" gave us two different cases: one in the air and one on the ground. I didn't see the connection between the two, but in the end, we got juicy medical footage, some developments in the Chase-Cameron department, and more time for House and Cuddy to bond. For all the details, read more
First, on the ground, we meet a kindly older woman who orders a prostitute but passes out before she can pay for her "Around the World" package. Wilson takes the case (really? I know House has to work the ER sometimes, but why Wilson?) and starts the usual (mis)diagnosis process. The woman reveals that she's been on something of a bender since turning 58, traveling to Caracas to snort cocaine, get a bad tattoo, and have sex with random men.
Meanwhile, House and Cuddy board their plane, while Cuddy complains that they flew all the way to Singapore so House could give a three-minute speech and rack up $500 in food and "video service" expenses at the hotel. Luckily, House has arranged to bump Cuddy out of first class, saving $500. Not so luckily, the man next to House pukes all over his meal. When the flight attendant asks for a doctor, House volunteers Cuddy, who discovers the man has symptoms of meningitis. She says they have to turn around, but House says it's nothing — until the young woman in front of House starts puking and reveals a strange rash on her back.
Cameron and Chase, meanwhile, go to the woman's house to check for things that could have made her sick, and Cameron insists they have sex on the woman's bed while her freaky cat looks on. Foreman later accuses them of agreeing with each other all the time just because the sex is good.
House assembles a faux team from random people on the plane, the best of which is the Cameron stand-in, who's told to be morally outraged at everything House says. If he’d told her to want to sleep with him, she really would have nailed it. House deduces that the problem must be in the seafood served on the plane, since both sick people ate it. Cuddy insists that meningitis makes more sense, and eventually she too vomits and reveals a rash on her back.
Back on the ground, Wilson decides the woman has breast cancer and asks the prostitute (whom he doesn't realize is a prostitute yet) to stay with her; apparently this is "prostitutes are people, too" episode. But in the middle of a mammogram, the woman goes blind and ultimately ends up in a coma. Wilson, meanwhile, finally figures out what's up and tells the prostitute she should go, but she leaves her phone number behind.
House and the doctors back home end up performing near-simultaneous spinal taps, and House announces to the plane at large that they have a confirmed case of bacterial meningitis ... but wait, just kidding, it's actual mass hysteria and they're making themselves sick. That includes Cuddy, who's a little ashamed, though they still have to figure out what's wrong with the first guy. House settles on the idea that he's a drug mule who swallowed a condom of cocaine that burst.
Back on the ground, Chase remembers that the woman's cat's food dish was full. He returns to find the cat dead, then discovers that the house next door had been fumigated and some of the toxins had seeped into the woman's home. He reports his finding just in time to stop the other doctors from drilling into the woman's brain.
Just before House is about to do surgery, he realizes that when he pushes on the guy's joints, his symptoms go away. He finds a scuba diving receipt in the guy's wallet and figures out he has the bends; he tells the flight attendant that the pilot should drop in elevation "until we can club baby seals out the window." Once the plane lands, House tells Cuddy she owes him for saving her life; she reminds him she wasn't actually sick.
Wilson calls the prostitute, tells her the woman is going to be fine, and basically asks her out. Chase, meanwhile, tells Cameron he wants more from their relationship. She says it's just sex, no feelings, and now it's over. Chase can only pout back.
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