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"House" Recap: Episode 19, "Act Your Age"

"House" Recap: Episode 19, "Act Your Age"

As much as I liked seeing Chase and Cameron together, I've been looking forward to the inevitable bickering once they broke up, and we got lots of that on this week's "House." We also got our little mystery girl, and let's just say that one of your predictions of what would be at the end of her dramatic "I ... want ..." line was almost dead-on. Rock on, ALSW!

We start out at a daycare, where the little boy who I'm almost positive plays Sam on "October Road" gets a gross bloody nose. But the actual sick one is his sister, who collapses suddenly. House sets his team on the case, but Cameron and Chase can't stop fighting, because there's trouble in casual-sex paradise. To hear where it goes from there,

The girl has the health problems of someone 10 times her age: heart disease, arthritis, stroke. Meanwhile, her little brother flirts with Cameron, and she flirts back. Hey, Cameron: You broke up with Chase, and he's not going to be jealous of an 8-year-old. The two of them check out the girl's house, and their sniping gets cut short when they discover a bloody T-shirt behind the vent in the girl's bedroom. House, meanwhile, asks Wilson if he's interested in going to see some play. "Sure," says Wilson, "I'll pick you up." House says he's not going: "Dudes only go to plays when they're dragged by women they're hoping to see naked."

Chase and Cameron issue their verdict: The girl is being abused. The father insists otherwise, but a vaginal exam turns up tiny cuts. Cuddy yells at House for not calling social services, but House is more concerned that Cuddy was out late and bounds into the cafeteria to confront Wilson. Wilson: "I slept with her." House: "...seriously?" Wilson: "No." Then Foreman interrupts with the news that they've tested the blood on the T-shirt, and it shows that the girl's hit puberty — at age 6. Her hormones are totally out of whack. Also, she ... wants ... juice!

Speaking of hormones, Wilson says Cuddy wants to see him naked, because she's sent him flowers. Wilson and House bicker about whether the Xs on the card are hugs or kisses, and Wilson ducks away as soon as he spots Cuddy. She asks House why Wilson's acting weird, and House says it's because he sent Wilson flowers. Heh. The little brother, meanwhile, grabs Cameron's ass while informing her that Chase seems like a tool. Cameron later apologizes — sort of — to Chase, but when the boy spots them together, he attacks, biting Chase's arm. House realizes that whatever's messing with the girl's hormones is affecting the brother, too.

Cameron wants to remove the girl's pituitary gland, but House says no. Cameron tries pulling the dead-husband card to get her way, and House totally calls her on it. He tells the father that maybe something at the day care is making the kids sick, and dad responds that the other kids are fine. How does he know? Why, because he's sleeping with the day care instructor!

House shows up at the day care center and spots the instructor's recently waxed lip, which puts it all into place: Dad has been slathering himself with testosterone cream in an attempt to keep up with the day care instructor, who's half his age. Now he's secreting it through his skin, giving his kids huge doses every time he hugs them and making his girlfriend grow a mustache.

With that solved, House turns his attention to Wilson, who says he's going to march into Cuddy's office and kiss her. But he comes back a second later, saying he can't believe House would let him do that. House cops to setting up the flower thing but says Wilson does want to kiss Cuddy. "You're right," Wilson says. House: "... seriously?" Wilson: "No." Chase, meanwhile, gives Cameron flowers, but she says she doesn't want a relationship.

Cuddy tells House she can't believe this guy cared so much about getting laid that he nearly killed his children. It just shouldn't be that hard to find someone, she says. Well, House says, he's got these tickets to a play ...

Photos courtesy of Fox

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