In this week's episode of "The OC", Ryan worries that his relationship with Taylor is suddenly moving into "mach 5," and thankfully, that's precisely what the writers seem to be doing with the show. We begin as Taylor is discussing plans for her first-ever birthday party with Summer, and she confesses that the ideal present would be Ryan asking her to go to Berkeley with him. Oh, and an "I love you" wouldn't hurt either. Next we're treated to some very heavy-handed foreshadowing, so if you don't mind some spoilers,
Seeing an earthquake story in the LA Times, the girls point out that, no matter how many times the experts predict "the big one," it never happens. Subtle, right? Almost as subtle as Taylor's "hints" to Ryan that he should say "I love you." Her best moment is probably when she and Ryan are watching a movie, and she observes how tragic it is that the two characters can't express their love for one another. Ryan says the chances of it working are pretty slim: "She’s a beautiful woman. He’s a hunchback working in a bell tower."
Kaitlin is annoyed at how much Frank is staying over, and Frank confronts her about it. The problem isn't that he went to prison, Kaitlin says, but that Frank is boring. Kaitlin then attempts to solve the problem by planting clown porn in Frank's duffel bag; Julie realizes what's going on and is, understandably, troubled that her 15-year-old managed to get her hands on clown porn.
Meanwhile, Kirsten sees a darker side of Newport, and it's called prenatal yoga, where the bitchy young moms invite her to join the "six-pack pack." She asks Sandy: How can she raise a baby in such a shallow place? To renew her hope, he invites her out to dinner with a "normal" couple, Spitz and his wife. Bad idea, seeing as how the wife is about 20 years younger and unbelievably obnoxious, shouting across the restaurant at a nanny to shut that thing up. Turns out it's her nanny, and the "thing" is her kid. Lovely.
Summer, meanwhile, is dragging Seth to an art opening sponsored by GEORGE. When Seth ridicules an experimental film, Summer challenges him to make his own, so he films an inflatable whale floating in a pool for six hours. Summer is not amused, but I thought it was pretty funny. In an attempt to redeem himself, he spends the rest of the episode filming documentary footage of Ryan, Summer, and the gang.
Trying to loosen Ryan up, Taylor invites him over for dinner and wine. She gets sloshed instead and admits that she just wants to hear that he loves her. When she seems to pass out on the bed, Ryan asks: "Taylor, are you just pretending to be unconscious so I’ll tell you that I love you?" A drunken Taylor replies: "Maybe..."
Eventually, he says he loves her back but then panics when he realizes Taylor is planning to go to Berkeley. Taylor decides she'll say "I love you" when she opens Ryan's romantic birthday gift, a bound book of French love poems. But when she opens the gift, she realizes Ryan has gift-wrapped a dictionary instead. I think the French call that "sabotage."
Speaking of sabotage, Julie finds Kaitlin with more clown porn and confronts her; Kaitlin says she doesn't mind Frank, she just doesn't want another "instant family." Why can't she and her mom just be family for a while?
Taylor asks Ryan: Would you have said you loved me if you knew I'd gotten into Berkeley? Ryan's relative silence comes across as a "no," and Taylor can't muster the enthusiasm to blow out her birthday candles.
Later, Ryan finds her and gives her his real gift, while also expressing his utter devotion and love. Then, guess what? There is an earthquake! A really, really long earthquake with lots of graphic footage of horrible things tumbling everywhere. Did someone die? Has Newport been destroyed? We'll have to wait until next week to find out.
Photos courtesy of Fox