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"The OC" Recap: Episode 16, "The End's Not Near, It's Here"

"The OC" Recap: Episode 16, "The End's Not Near, It's Here"

So the series finale of the "The OC" has come and gone, with an hour of television that was at once wonderful and terrible. For the first 20 minutes or so, I found myself wanting to tap the actors on the shoulders and remind them that this was, in fact, the final episode ever and could they please stop wasting time on silly trivialities, such as exposition and Taylor's blog?

Fortunately, about halfway through the episode, they seemed to get the message, delivering plenty of juicy details and referencing everything from The Graduate and "Six Feet Under" to "Deal or No Deal" and "The OC's" own demise. To find out what happened,

So Julie is knocked up and marrying Bullitt, which seems unusually responsible until we learn she's pregnant with Frank's son. As she plans their nuptials, Sandy and Kirsten, who are crashing at the Coopers, find out their house is beyond repair. So Ryan and Seth — who has spent the past six months in a La-Z-Boy watching "Briefcase or No Briefcase" with Summer — head up to Berkeley to see about buying the Cohens' old house.

Billionaire Bullitt gets wind of this and jets up to Berkeley with the Cohens to put an offer on the house. But the guys living there, Todd and Patrick, aren't interested in selling. Oh well, Kirsten asks: "Is the bathroom still in the same place?" and hurries off to pee. When her water breaks, she's forced to — as Bullitt so eloquently puts it — drop child in San Fran.

With a few fairly ridiculous plot twists, everyone ends up in Berkeley, and they decide to have the wedding there. One of the gay guys is a wedding planner, natch, and the couple later agrees to sell the house back to the Cohens. "It's your house. We just live in it." Oh yeah, that's a realistic snapshot of the Bay Area real-estate market.

Meanwhile, all this wedding nonsense has the other couples pondering their futures. Seth thinks he and Summer are stuck in a rut and that she needs to go off to save otters and fulfill her destiny. Ryan and Taylor decide they can just be friends, until they collapse in a lustful pre-marital heap on the bed.

Back in Newport, Frank runs to the church attempting to stop the wedding with an impassioned shout of "Juuuuulie!!!" — only to realize the wedding has been relocated. He calls Kaitlin's cell phone and begs for Julie back. Julie runs inside, Kaitlin follows, and Julie pauses to think: "Not now honey! Mom's try to decide who to marry."

Everyone bids farewell to Summer as she boards the bus for GEORGE then sets about getting on with their lives; Seth and Ryan go to college, Sandy teaches at Berkeley.

Then comes the moment we've all been waiting for: the what-happens-next montage! In a gimmick ripped straight from "Six Feet Under" (except not nearly as good), we fast-forward to see what happens in each character's life. In conclusion:

  • Julie graduates from college. Both Frank and Bullitt are in the audience, so I'm assuming she ends up with Frank, but it's not entirely clear. Thoughts?
  • Seth and Summer get married. Ryan and Taylor are best man and maid of honor and exchange knowing glances.
  • Ryan grows up to be a construction foreman with the exact same hairdo. In a very melodramatic moment, he leaves work one day and encounters a brooding punk kid in Vans. "Do you need help?" Ryan asks.

    Hello, spinoff!

Photos courtesy of Fox

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