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The Office Best Quotes

Buzz Lines: What's Your Favorite Quote From The Office?

Michael Scott's last day on The Office is coming up on Thursday, and if last week's episode didn't already make you nostalgic for Dunder Mifflin's boss, then I'm about to. For this week's buzz lines, I want you to tell me your favorite quotes from The Office. I have a few to get you started (including a joke that existed before the show but really got popular through Michael), so check them out and then add your own!

  • "That's what she said." — Michael
  • "Fact: Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica." — Jim, imitating Dwight
  • "Would I rather be feared or loved? Um, easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me." — Michael

Photo courtesy of NBC

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ChelMarie ChelMarie 5 years
Oh god, so many! They're actually scenes, though, rather than just single quotes. A couple of my faves are:Jim: Question. What kind of bear is best?Dwight: That's a ridiculous question.Jim: False. Black bear.Dwight: That's debatable. There are basically two schools of thought--Jim: Fact. Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.Dwight: Bears do not... What is going on?! What are you doing?!**********************Michael: Ladies and gentleman, I have some bad news. Meredith was hit by a car.Oscar: Where?Michael: It happened this morning in the parking lot. I took her to the hospital. And the doctors tried to save her, life, they did the best they could. And she is going to be ok.Stanley: What is wrong with you? Why would you have to phrase is like that?***************************Pam : There is a master key and a spare key for the office. Dwight has them both. When I asked, "what if you die, Dwight? How will we get into the office?" He said, "if I'm dead, you guys have been dead for weeks."
ChelMarie ChelMarie 5 years
Oh god, so many! They're actually scenes, though, rather than just single quotes. A couple of my faves are: Jim: Question. What kind of bear is best? Dwight: That's a ridiculous question. Jim: False. Black bear. Dwight: That's debatable. There are basically two schools of thought-- Jim: Fact. Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica. Dwight: Bears do not... What is going on?! What are you doing?! ********************** Michael: Ladies and gentleman, I have some bad news. Meredith was hit by a car. Oscar: Where? Michael: It happened this morning in the parking lot. I took her to the hospital. And the doctors tried to save her, life, they did the best they could. And she is going to be ok. Stanley: What is wrong with you? Why would you have to phrase is like that? *************************** Pam : There is a master key and a spare key for the office. Dwight has them both. When I asked, "what if you die, Dwight? How will we get into the office?" He said, "if I'm dead, you guys have been dead for weeks."
onlysourcherry onlysourcherry 5 years
CREED: "I've been involved in a number of cults, both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower, but make more money as a leader.""That wasn't a tapeworm." "Hey brah, I been meanin' to ask you... can we get some Red Bull for these things? Sometimes a guy's gotta ride ride the Bull, am I right? Later, skater."
onlysourcherry onlysourcherry 5 years
CREED: "I've been involved in a number of cults, both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower, but make more money as a leader." "That wasn't a tapeworm." "Hey brah, I been meanin' to ask you... can we get some Red Bull for these things? Sometimes a guy's gotta ride ride the Bull, am I right? Later, skater."
masmith masmith 5 years
Michael talking to David:My philosophy is basically this and this is something that I live by and I always have and I always will. Don't ever, for ay reason, do anything to anyone for any reason ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or, or where you are going, or, or where you've been...ever. For any reason whatsoever...Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An "improversation."
masmith masmith 5 years
Michael talking to David: My philosophy is basically this and this is something that I live by and I always have and I always will. Don't ever, for ay reason, do anything to anyone for any reason ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or, or where you are going, or, or where you've been...ever. For any reason whatsoever...Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An "improversation."
dreamalittledream dreamalittledream 5 years
“You may look around and see two groups here: white collar, blue collar. But I don’t see it that way, and you know why not? Because I am collar-blind.” “My proudest moment here wasn’t when I increased profits by 17 percent, or cut expenditures without losing a single member of staff. No, no, no. It was a young Guatemalan guy, first job in the country, barely spoke a word of English, but he came to me and said, ‘Mr. Scott, will you be the godfather to my child?’ Didn’t work out in the end. We had to let him go. He sucked.” --Oh man, I need to stop. Too many quotes! I'm going to miss Michael Scott :-(
dreamalittledream dreamalittledream 5 years
Let's see Josh replace these people. Let's see Josh find another Stanley. You think Stanleys grow on trees? Well they don't. There is no Stanley tree. Do you think the world is crawling with Phyllises? Show me that farm. With Phyllises and Kevins sprouting up all over the place. Ripe for the plucking. Show me that farm.
dreamalittledream dreamalittledream 5 years
Let's see Josh replace these people. Let's see Josh find another Stanley. You think Stanleys grow on trees? Well they don't. There is no Stanley tree. Do you think the world is crawling with Phyllises? Show me that farm. With Phyllises and Kevins sprouting up all over the place. Ripe for the plucking. Show me that farm.
limelindsey limelindsey 5 years
Geez, so many!Pam: So, like, let's say that my teeth turn to liquid and then they drip down the back of my throat. What would you call that?Jim: I thought you said you were inventing new diseases. That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion. Pam: Nice.Andy (when the Stamford office is playing Call of Duty and Jim sucks at it): Saboteur! Saboteur! I'm gonna kill you for real! This game... the game is over, I'm *really* going to shoot you. Jim: [after Dwight resigns] I miss Dwight. Congratulations, universe. You win. Dwight: We have three rooms, each with a different theme.Pam: What are the themes?Dwight: America, Irrigation and Nighttime. Jim and Pam together: Irrigation.Everything in the episode "Ben Franklin." It's my favorite episode and I think every word of it is hilarious. Especially at the end when Dwight and Ben Franklin go head to head, and Ben never breaks character.Pretty much after season 4, with the exception of a few Andy gems ("It is on like the prawn that yawns at dawn" is a particular favorite that gets used a lot in our house), the show just isn't as funny or quotable as it used to be. Still watch it though!
limelindsey limelindsey 5 years
Geez, so many! Pam: So, like, let's say that my teeth turn to liquid and then they drip down the back of my throat. What would you call that? Jim: I thought you said you were inventing new diseases. That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion. Pam: Nice. Andy (when the Stamford office is playing Call of Duty and Jim sucks at it): Saboteur! Saboteur! I'm gonna kill you for real! This game... the game is over, I'm *really* going to shoot you. Jim: [after Dwight resigns] I miss Dwight. Congratulations, universe. You win. Dwight: We have three rooms, each with a different theme. Pam: What are the themes? Dwight: America, Irrigation and Nighttime. Jim and Pam together: Irrigation. Everything in the episode "Ben Franklin." It's my favorite episode and I think every word of it is hilarious. Especially at the end when Dwight and Ben Franklin go head to head, and Ben never breaks character. Pretty much after season 4, with the exception of a few Andy gems ("It is on like the prawn that yawns at dawn" is a particular favorite that gets used a lot in our house), the show just isn't as funny or quotable as it used to be. Still watch it though!
lizlee89 lizlee89 5 years
haha, laughing so hard at what other people put.oddly, given that I have loved this show from the beginning, my all-time favorite quote (or at least the one that I always repeat because I find it funny) has to be, "James. Jimothy. Can I just call you Jim?" so stupid, and under the radar, but so witty and hilarious to me.there are so many more, though...
lizlee89 lizlee89 5 years
haha, laughing so hard at what other people put. oddly, given that I have loved this show from the beginning, my all-time favorite quote (or at least the one that I always repeat because I find it funny) has to be, "James. Jimothy. Can I just call you Jim?" so stupid, and under the radar, but so witty and hilarious to me. there are so many more, though...
Shannon-Vestal Shannon-Vestal 5 years
Kiss her good, Jim.
Shannon-Vestal Shannon-Vestal 5 years
Kiss her good, Jim.
shaima shaima 5 years
For me the best quote is actually a scene, the song Good Bye Toby. Here a few of my favorites, but there are too many to remember!Michael :A lot of the people here don't get trophies very often, like Meridith or Kevin. I mean who's gonna give Kevin an award? Dunkin' Donuts?Jim :Does that include 'that's what she said'?Michael: yes.Jim : Wow that is really hard. You really think you can go all day long? Well, you always left me satisfied and smiling.Michael :THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!Michael :Toby is in HR, which technically means he works for corporate, so he's really not a part of our family. Also, he's divorced, so he's really not a part of his family.Michael :A guy goes to a $5 lady of the night, and he gets crabs. So the next day he goes back to complain and the woman says, 'Hey, it was only $5, what did you expect,lobster?'Michael :What do I put for 'Reason for visit'?Jim :Concussion.Jim :What did you write?Michael Scott:Nothing,I wrote, 'Bringing someone to the hospital.'Michael: I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY!Michael :I am downloading some N3P music
shaima shaima 5 years
For me the best quote is actually a scene, the song Good Bye Toby. Here a few of my favorites, but there are too many to remember! Michael :A lot of the people here don't get trophies very often, like Meridith or Kevin. I mean who's gonna give Kevin an award? Dunkin' Donuts? Jim :Does that include 'that's what she said'? Michael: yes. Jim : Wow that is really hard. You really think you can go all day long? Well, you always left me satisfied and smiling. Michael :THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID! Michael :Toby is in HR, which technically means he works for corporate, so he's really not a part of our family. Also, he's divorced, so he's really not a part of his family. Michael :A guy goes to a $5 lady of the night, and he gets crabs. So the next day he goes back to complain and the woman says, 'Hey, it was only $5, what did you expect,lobster?' Michael :What do I put for 'Reason for visit'? Jim :Concussion. Jim :What did you write? Michael Scott:Nothing,I wrote, 'Bringing someone to the hospital.' Michael: I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY! Michael :I am downloading some N3P music
supertramp supertramp 5 years
"I tried. I tried! I tried to talk to Toby and be his friend... But that is like trying to be friends with an evil... snail. I feel like I'm dying inside. I feel like Neve Campbell in Scream 2. She thinks she can go off to college and be happy... And then, the murderer comes back. Starts killing off all of her friends. Learned a lot of lessons from that movie. This is just one of them." - Michael Scott
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