I won't recount the entire opening of this episode of The Office, but just knowing that it had to do with knock-knock jokes, face-slapping, and the KGB is enough to make me grin again (especially when Michael tells Dwight to open the door when Jim (or, the KGB) "knocks" and Dwight doesn't want to open the door). From there we meet a Willy Wonkified Michael who has a "golden" promotional idea, but when the idea backfires he tries to force Dwight to claim the idea was his. Meanwhile, Kevin is receiving conflicting dating advice from Pam, Jim, and Andy.
I thought it was a good, solid half-hour of Office time. What did you think? To see some of my favorite moments and share your own, read more.
- Michael thinks up (or, more accurately, modifies the idea from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory for Dunder Mifflin) the "golden ticket" promotion, and he holds a meeting to encourage the rest of the staff to think up equally good "golden ticket ideas." Behind him is a white board that just reads "Marketing. Greatness. Michael."
- Andy's dating advice is priceless: "You're making it too easy for her. You're just conveying 'Oh, I like you just the way you are.'" Also, "You can't let a girl feel good about herself. It will backfire on you. Every compliment has to be backhanded." And, "Don't touch her, don't talk to her, don't look at her."
- Speaking of backfiring, Michael's golden-ticket idea backfires when their biggest client finds five of the "10 percent off" golden tickets in their shipment — and Michael didn't limit the offer to one per customer. He avoids phone calls from David Wallace. Pam says, "When Michael's skirting a phone call, he gave me a list of places to say he is. Stopping a fight in the parking lot. An Obama fashion show, whatever that is. Or trapped in an oil painting. I'm gonna save that one."
- Creed seems to always have my favorite lines these days. Michael says, "Well, you know what, Jim? It is not my fault you bought a house to impress Pam. That is why carnations exist." And Creed doesn't miss a beat: "That's not why."
- Dwight has a diary to keep secrets from his computer.
- Michael tries to convince Dwight it was his idea, because of his love for the Willy Wonka movie, but Dwight says, "Impossible. I wasn't given candy as a child so a movie that fetishized it that much would have made no sense to me. Plus, we weren't allowed to see movies, so. Do the math."
- My second favorite part: As Jim, Pam and Andy are shouting at each other about dating advice, we hear Andy declare, "Putting your heart in the fire like that? It's liable to just turn into this blackened carbon brick in this barbecue sauce of shame and rage and two hot people with a perfect relationship would not understand that."
- I'm delightfully surprised that Dwight continuously refuses to "fall on his sword" for Michael! (Also: "I did fall on my sword once. I was running with it in my belt. Won't happen again.")
- Michael's idea for fancy shoe store, Shoe-La-La: "It's just men's shoes for the special occasions in a man's life. Like the day that you get married, or the day your wife has a baby, or for just lounging around the house."
- Oscar: "These aren't announcements."
Michael: "Yes, they are. You just don't care about the information." Oscar nods because actually, that makes some sense.
- Ha! Turns out the golden ticket idea was brilliant — so Dwight takes credit for it. David: "This is huge!"
Dwight: "That's what she said." Yes.
- One of the best things about this show is the fact that someone on a conference call can say "Is there a dog listening in? I hear panting." A dog. Listening in.
- Michael bursts into the conference room and explains everything to David, but then Michael and Dwight get into an idea-off, each shouting out their ideas, like Dwight's "horse-boat:" "A canoe built around your horse so you can go from riding to water travel without slowing down. Horse boat!"
- Michael: "Well, David I will be honest with you. I do want the credit without any of the blame."
- Awww: Kevin just says what he's thinking to Lynn, which seems to work — even when he just says "boobs" as he looks at her chest.