Oh, I'm sorry — did you think this week's "Battle of New Orleans" would be between the vampires? The penultimate episode of The Originals' first season does have an epic battle, but another crew gets in the mix. Turns out, there's a new (very old) werewolf pack in town and they're looking to get their turf back. We tend to let other TV shows do the recapping for us , and this week, we're using GIFs from Friends to help explain our feelings. In case you didn't hear, it's been 10 years since the Friends finale , so hold onto your La-Z-Boys, because it's time to talk The Originals.
When Francesca Shows Up Again
This chick is awfully persistent. First, she shows up at Father Kieran's funeral, now she disrupts Cami's afternoon wallow. Can't a girl get some peace and quiet without being interrogated about keys?
When Cami Finds Her Uncle's Stash of Stuff
I hope Father Kieran didn't think that was an actual hiding place, because it took his completely unskilled niece under a minute to find it. Having said that, I, too, would like a fake closet door behind which I could hide top-secret files.
When the Bombs Go Off
NOT THEIR FACES, COME ON.
When Jackson Tells Elijah He Owes Him One "Yet Again"
It's not that I don't like Jackson, I just love Elijah.
When Elijah Kisses Hayley Again
Last week's kiss breaks the ice between these two good-looking supernatural creatures, so now they can just make out all the time. It's great, but I don't think it's going to last. She's "betrothed" to Jackson! Unless Jackson dies, I don't see her sticking with Elijah. Oh man, did I just sentence Jackson to death in the finale?
When Hayley Tells Elijah to Go, "and Don't Hold Back"
So much sexual innuendo.
When Marcel and Elijah Start Fighting in the Street
I utterly enjoyed this.
When Cami Realizes Francesca Is a Guerilla Werewolf
It's all becoming clear now. So her family has been around for ages, and now they want to reclaim their city. If ever there was a time for Marcel and Klaus to team up, it's now.
Whenever I See Elijah Fighting
He just takes down that entire squad of vicious vampires, no big deal.
When Klaus Just Yells at Marcel in the Street
This just strikes me as really petulant and also gross because blood is spilling out of his mouth.
When the Werewolves Start Feasting on Elijah
Francesca sics her "brothers" on Elijah, and they really lay into him. Don't mind me, I'll just be crying over here.
When Marcel Sees Diego
I don't know how Diego survives, but I'm really glad he does, because poor Marcel has essentially been orphaned over the course of this battle.
When Hayley Goes Into Labor
Those pesky witches. Now they've induced labor so they can have her baby. Obviously they take her to the church to give birth . . . because that seems like the right place for some black magic: a church.
When Klaus Screams Into the Street
Though Klaus's first scream is dumb, the second one is totally understandable. He can hear Hayley screaming for help, his body isn't healing, and he can't fix things. I'm not sure how next week's episode will tie all this up, but I'm really hoping Hayley survives. Maybe next season everyone can just squash this beef and have a BBQ?