Skip Nav
Fill Out Our Oscar Ballot For a Chance to Win $1,000!
Jamie Dornan
42 Reasons It's OK to Be Attracted to Jamie Dornan When He Plays Total Psychos
Triple Threat: 22 Actors Who Swept Award Season

"Pirate Master": Even More Ridiculous Than I Expected!

"Pirate Master": Even More Ridiculous Than I Expected!

Of course, I knew "Pirate Master" was going to be silly, but this week's premiere episode was more absurd than I was expecting. Basically, it feels like a parody of a reality show, not an actual series that anyone should take seriously. I recommend watching it very late at night, when you've already got the giggles. Here were some of the most over-the-top moments:

  • First of all, how did they make a pirate show without a plank? Nobody walks the plank; instead, the rejected wannabe pirate gets lowered onto a raft and then literally set adrift ... where I'm sure he or she travels about 15 feet before being rescued by a team of CBS producers.
  • Nothing about this show is even remotely real. The lagoon where the "pirates" carried out their challenges looked basically like "Six Flags Over Blackbeard," with super-fake skeletons dangling from trees and artfully-placed slimy moss. And there's no way those crabs just happened to find their way in to the chest filled with the $40,000 in gold coins. Speaking of which, isn't that a remarkably round figure for coins that were supposedly buried hundreds of years ago?
  • The outfits Joe Don and the officers got after their election looked way more like Civil War reenactment costumes than pirate gear.
  • John, we hardly knew ye ... and your "scientist/exotic dancer" self. Granted, he was a little crazy and looked like a refugee from an '80s hair-metal band and made me uncomfortable, but he would have been fun to watch for a few more weeks.
  • Not a single "yarrrrrr" all episode, people! Not a single "ahoy" or "matey," either! C'mon, pirates, you've got to step it up.
  • Photo courtesy of CBS

Around The Web
Join The Conversation
LaLaLaurie06 LaLaLaurie06 9 years
the guy in the pirate hat looks like Joe Millionaire...
Hope5 Hope5 9 years
I didn't watch it!
soccer_obsessed soccer_obsessed 9 years
:rotfl: I tired watching this and I gave up it was some bad rip off of survivor especially at the end give us a reason to stay I was just like WOW and changed the channel :p
Fab_Kitty Fab_Kitty 9 years
I missed it because $2 margaritas were beckoning me to go out. Sorry to hear it was disappointing. :-(
thehabra thehabra 9 years
"Not a single "yarrrrrr" all episode, people! Not a single "ahoy" or "matey," either! C'mon, pirates, you've got to step it up. " Bwahaha!How cute
radarkitty radarkitty 9 years
I just couldn't bring myself to watch it. Glad I didn't waste my time!
Kazagirl Kazagirl 9 years
I watched last night...I am not sure what to think of it. Way too much like Survivor and way too staged. I was definitely expecting more and I am pretty sure I won't be watching again.
JennaV JennaV 9 years
Your description is hilarious!!!! :rotfl: :rotfl: What the f? No plank? LAME.
Jinx Jinx 9 years
LOL! Right on Buzz! I'm so glad you think so. I couldn't stop laughing, I kept switching to the Office repeat.
mollipop mollipop 9 years
I watched this last night, and thought it was one of the cheesiest shows I've seen in a while. BuzzSugar your description of this show as seeming like "a parody of a reality show" is right on target.
Jamie Dornan Pictures From Fifty Shades of Grey and The Fall
Why Did ABC Announce the New Bachelorette So Early? 2017
What Movies Has Ruth Negga Been In?
Will and Grace Reboot Instagram Photos
Top of the Lake Season 2 Details
Bates Motel Season 5 Details
The Vampire Diaries Series Finale Details

POPSUGAR, the #1 independent media and technology company for women. Where more than 75 million women go for original, inspirational content that feeds their passions and interests.

From Our Partners
Latest Entertainment
All the Latest From Ryan Reynolds