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True Blood Season Premiere "Bad Blood" Recap

True Blood Bites: Season Premiere "Bad Blood"

After much excitement (and a bajillion promos), True Blood is back with a bang! The show picked up where we left off last season with the death of Eggs and Bill's kidnapping, and the premiere continued to rage on with the suspense, sex scenes, and bloody moments that fans have come to expect. Plus, we finally got a peek at the werewolves (is it just me, or do True Blood's wolves almost look better than the wolves from New Moon?).

I don't want to give away too much about what happened, so let's break down the major highlights (warning: spoilers!) when you

.

  • Grossest use of blood: Bill's torture scene. True Blood has never been afraid to get downright grotesque, but I nearly ralphed watching Bill's kidnappers take bites out of him and then feeding his oozy blood to each other via mouth. Note to self for future: never watch this show after just eating.
  • Best character entrance: Eric and his full-length butt shot. When Sookie goes to see Eric in order to find Bill, Pam takes her downstairs where Eric is, of course, boinking Fangtasia's new dancer. He tells Sookie that he's been down there for six hours. Her response: "Six hours?" Eric: "You seem surprised. Is Bill's stamina not up to snuff?" Love it. Runner up goes to the pack of werewolves who discover Bill in the woods. I can't wait to see more of them!
  • Biggest jaw-dropper: Sam and Bill's homoerotic shower chat. We had heard rumors of a love connection between the two men, but that didn't make the episode's tease any less shocking. After Sam flees to find his real family, Bill finds him, and next thing you know, Sam is removing his shirt (did anyone else laugh when Bill said "nice" about Sam's abs?!). Oh, but wait, it's just a dream, and Sam wakes up. Still, you know it's not the last we've seen of these two men getting close.
  • Favorite mantra: "Conscience off, d*ck on," courtesy of Andy. When adorable Jason Stackhouse is feeling guilt over Eggs death, Andy tells Jason that he has to pretend to be the old Jason. So, as a pep talk, Andy has him repeat after him: "Conscience off, d*ck on, and everything's gonna be all right." Jason has no problem carrying out the M.O., and he picks up two co-eds at the bar with Hoyt. But when he takes them back to his place (like we didn't see that threesome coming), Jason can't exactly, um, perform. Looks like his conscience is winning after all.
  • Most in need of a makeup touchup: Jessica and her giant blood tears. After she feeds on a guy, Jessica drags him to the house and tries to save him. He dies, so she hides him underground and tries to resuscitate him as a vampire. It fails, and the poor newbie vamp is freaking out.
  • Nastiest girl fight: Tara and Sookie. Tara nearly tries to kill Sookie after Sookie reveals that she helped Eggs remember what he did while possessed. It becomes an all-out brawl on the floor until Lafayette steps in to pry them apart.
  • Moment that made me say "Nooooo": Tara's OD attempt. She's totally devastated over Eggs, and to make matters worse, her mother arrives with her reverend. After a long religious chat, Tara tells her mom that she's going to take a shower, shuts the door, and proceeds to down a ton of meds. Thank goodness Lafayette shows up and bangs on the door — but will he be able to stop her?

Did the premiere live up to your expectations? Any moments you loved that I missed? (I'm kind of excited for Arlene's pregnancy, aren't you?) Share your thoughts in the comments, or head over to the True Blood Southern Vampire Series Sookie group in Community!

Photo courtesy of HBO

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Renees3 Renees3 5 years
@tlsgirl - I kept thinking the same thing, I'm pretty sure the new vamp sleeps THREE nights. But I don't think he would start decaying and smelling if he was in the process of being transformed, but we have no way of knowing since they're usually buried not just hanging out in the house.
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 5 years
I agree with other comments about Evan Rachel Wood. She's beautiful, but the way she speaks in the show sounds really forced and fake to me.
tlsgirl tlsgirl 5 years
Conscience off, dick on totally cracked me up, as did Pam's "no, Sookie don't" when Sookie charged down the steps to see Eric. Loved that scene, btw. I turned to my BF and said "wow, nice rear view. Hmmm, nice front view too." And that scene with Bill and Sam?! My boyfriend and I were literally staring at each other like "what the heck is going on here?" I'm intrigued to see what happens with Sam and his family.The one thing I don't love is Evan Rachel Wood as Sophie. She annoys me for some reason.And is it just me, or was there something in the first two seasons about how a new vamp sleeps for three days and then wakes up and feeds? I keep thinking Jessica is going to go back and find a brand new vamp in the house, but I may be getting confused with all the other shows out there.
tlsgirl tlsgirl 5 years
Conscience off, dick on totally cracked me up, as did Pam's "no, Sookie don't" when Sookie charged down the steps to see Eric. Loved that scene, btw. I turned to my BF and said "wow, nice rear view. Hmmm, nice front view too." And that scene with Bill and Sam?! My boyfriend and I were literally staring at each other like "what the heck is going on here?" I'm intrigued to see what happens with Sam and his family. The one thing I don't love is Evan Rachel Wood as Sophie. She annoys me for some reason. And is it just me, or was there something in the first two seasons about how a new vamp sleeps for three days and then wakes up and feeds? I keep thinking Jessica is going to go back and find a brand new vamp in the house, but I may be getting confused with all the other shows out there.
reesiecup reesiecup 5 years
elramos, it was the best quote (or should I say motto?) of the episode! Can't wait for next Sunday :)
bohokitty bohokitty 5 years
I am so glad season 3 is here!! I think second place for line of the night should go to Jason. When Hoyt is reluctant to bring the girls they've met home because he misses Jessica. Jason telling him that if he wants to be his roommate he's just gonna have to deal with a certain amount of "pussy overflow" was pretty funny imo :p
Julieviggo Julieviggo 5 years
Love True Blood. Love Twilight. No need to compare. They are as different as day and night!
pinkflake2 pinkflake2 5 years
Pam was pretty on last night too. Especially her fake attempt to stop Sookie from going downstairs. Love her.
HoneyBrown1976 HoneyBrown1976 5 years
Alan Ball needs help developing Tara. He's not doing a good job.
Beauty Beauty 5 years
Agreed w/ all opinions on the wolves. So much better than CG! I liked last night's episode, but I felt like there was almost TOO much going on. And this is even before we're meeting some new characters. Do love Eric, though, and if we get to see more Pam, I'll be one happy lady.
Beauty Beauty 5 years
Agreed w/ all opinions on the wolves. So much better than CG!I liked last night's episode, but I felt like there was almost TOO much going on. And this is even before we're meeting some new characters. Do love Eric, though, and if we get to see more Pam, I'll be one happy lady.
gd101 gd101 5 years
I am really glad you're doing TB recaps, buzz :) I have to admit, true blood wolves look better than new moon wolves. My two faves scenes from last night's episode would be at the end, when we got to see the wolves & sam dreaming about bill. Now that was interesting! :P
Entertainment Entertainment 5 years
Oh boy. Yeah, I feel like an idiot. Fangland is the name of the John Carpenter movie that's in development with Hilary Swank — that's where I got it from! Total slip of the tongue. Sorry, guys.
Renees3 Renees3 5 years
oh and I can't stand Evan Rachel Wood and Sophie, I think she's horrible!
Renees3 Renees3 5 years
I'm so glad it's back! Great first episode, I loved Jason and Andy, how they're like buddies now. Tara is my least fave character of the show so I wouldn't be overly distraught if she died. I'm super excited for the wolves, Alcide has always been a fave character in the books so I can't wait to see him. and DUH the wolves are better on this show than the twilight movies, they're REAL! Not some CGI ginormous pretend wolves.
elramos elramos 5 years
Yeah, lol, what the hell is Fangland? "Conscious off, dick on, and everything's gonna be alright." Best line of the episode. I think Jason's going to be funnier this season. I'm glad Jessica didn't go evil on us. After last years season finale, I was worried her break with Hoyt had made her go bad. LOVED Eric's entrance. But was it just me, or does Yvetta not have the worst looking fake boobs?
elramos elramos 5 years
Yeah, lol, what the hell is Fangland? "Conscious off, dick on, and everything's gonna be alright." Best line of the episode. I think Jason's going to be funnier this season. I'm glad Jessica didn't go evil on us. After last years season finale, I was worried her break with Hoyt had made her go bad. LOVED Eric's entrance. But was it just me, or does Yvetta not have the worst looking fake boobs?
jazzytummy jazzytummy 5 years
Loved every part of it. Sugar, you must not be a huge fan.....Eric's club is Fangtasia, not Fangland.
jazzytummy jazzytummy 5 years
Loved every part of it.Sugar, you must not be a huge fan.....Eric's club is Fangtasia, not Fangland.
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 5 years
I am so pumped for this season. The wolves were my absolute favorite part of the episode and I can't wait to see more of the werewolf storyline. I am SO SO SO SO glad they used real wolves and not some cheesy CGI crap. I admit I am a huge fan of doggies and their original ancestor, I just find wolves to be beautiful animals :) I loved watching the postmortem thing at the end of the episode and seeing the wolves in action (and howling!). Eric's ass shot was nice ;) I also think the Bill/Sam erotica is hilarious!
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 5 years
I am so pumped for this season. The wolves were my absolute favorite part of the episode and I can't wait to see more of the werewolf storyline. I am SO SO SO SO glad they used real wolves and not some cheesy CGI crap. I admit I am a huge fan of doggies and their original ancestor, I just find wolves to be beautiful animals :) I loved watching the postmortem thing at the end of the episode and seeing the wolves in action (and howling!).Eric's ass shot was nice ;) I also think the Bill/Sam erotica is hilarious!
kismekate kismekate 5 years
Is it bad that I kind of hope that Tara is successful with her OD? She gets on my nerves.
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