It's been a while since we last visited with Betty, Daniel and the rest of the "Ugly Betty" gang, so let's take a moment to recap: Daniel has ceded control of Mode to Alexis; Wilhelmina is courting Bradford in an attempt to win the magazine for herself; and Betty is, unsurprisingly, caught in the middle of it all. Following the shockingly serious episode where Marc came out to his mom, "Betty" really dialed up the camp this week, introducing a gossip writer (and Dominick Dunne clone?) who threatens to expose the Meades' dirty laundry. For all the juicy developments and snarky one-liners, read more
Daniel's shirking his responsibilities at Mode in favor of partying, and Betty is getting worried — especially after she spots muckraker Quincy Combs snooping around Daniel's office. When Daniel finally strolls into Mode, Betty warns him that he's all over Page Six and Quincy is ready to destroy his family. Daniel: "A little late for that, huh?” He goes off to have a meeting with two hot model sisters, Petra and Lena.
Wilhelmina, meanwhile, is still trying to seduce Bradford. As Christina shortens her skirt as far as it will go, Wilhelmina gives her an invite to the hot club Prague. But Christina is still feeling guilty about their deal. Wilhelmina: "You have a hard time saying thank you, don’t you?” Christina: "Not when I mean it, no."
Back at the Suarez house, Constance takes off Ignacio's tracking device and convinces him to come over to her house to meet his lawyer. He gets suspicious that she's coming onto him again but she says she's over it. Hilda warns him not to go, but he wants his green card.
Quincy interviews Alexis, and she is more than willing to give him all the dirt he needs on her father: "Let’s put it this way. If my father were drowning I would pull up a lawn chair and watch.” Quincy reveals that he has some of Fey's diaries where she trashes Claire, but he can't find the last six months of diaries. He thinks they're in the Love Dungeon, a secret room at Mode where Fey and Brandon had their daily trysts. Alexis eagerly grabs the blueprints to Mode and goes in search of the room.
Amanda, meanwhile, is upset that Alexis didn't ask her to be her assistant, and she decides to stay late so she can try to steal the job. But Alexis says no dice: No matter how much Amanda deserves a leg up in the company, she's not giving it to someone who's had both legs up with Daniel. But she asks Amanda about the Love Dungeon, and Amanda — who claims to know everything about Mode — says there isn't one. As a reward, Alexis offers her anything she wants from the fashion closet.
Betty complains to Christina about Daniel, and Christina thinks Betty is becoming obsessed and insists that Betty accompany her to Prague. Of course, that's exactly where Daniel later shows up, drunk and flirting with young Petra. Worse, Betty thinks she's spotted Quincy, so in a desperate attempt to warn Daniel, she grabs the DJ's mic, turns of the music and screams at Daniel to get out the back door. The person she thought was Quincy turns out to be someone else, and Daniel tells Betty that she can't look out for him all the time and needs to punch out.
Wilhelmina makes her move on Bradford, but he doesn't bite. When Marc tells her about Fey's diaries, she realizes there might be something in there she could use to woo Bradford. She offers Quincy pictures of Alexis before, during and after her sex change in exchange for information, and Quincy spills that Mr. Meade has a foot fetish. She fixes up her tootsies and heads to Bradford's office, and her pedicured toes perk him up.
Constance cooks an elaborate dinner for Ignacio and tells him that the lawyer's not taking his case. Then Hilda calls and tells him his real case worker just showed up at the house, saying Constance was fired two months ago. Ignacio tries to play it cool and leave but Constance has the door bolted shut and informs him that they're going to Atlantic City to get married. Hilda comes over to save him but by that time he has convinced Constance to let him go.
Alexis tells Quincy that he's a liar and there is no room and no diaries, but Quincy pulls out a diary as proof. In it, Fey wrote that Braford felt terrible about the way he treated Alex and even wanted to follow him to Europe to beg him to come home. Moved, Alexis calls her father but he's too busy with Wilhelmina and her feet to notice. It's kind of unclear whether Brandon and Wilhemina do anything more than play footsie but either way they make plans to do it again.
Christina reminds Betty she can't make friends at Mode because everyone there has an agenda, and she finally comes clean about her deal with Wilhelmina. Betty feels utterly betrayed, of course, and leaves in tears. Meanwhile, Amanda grabs a fab pair of shoes high off a shelf in Mode's closet, which triggers the door to what must be the Love Dungeon. Unfortunately, she's too excited about the shoes to notice.
Daniel and Petra lay in bed together post coitus when Lena interrupts them and tells Daniel she's not Petra's sister — she's Petra's mom. She blackmails Daniel for the May cover of Mode. Back at Betty's, she and Ignacio swap stories of woe, and Betty realizes she needs to stop taking work home. Almost immediately the phone rings, and it's Daniel, sounding like he's in trouble. Betty, though, just says she'll call him in the morning. She's punched out.