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Ugly Betty Recap: Episode Five, "Granny Pants"

Ugly Betty Rundown: Episode Five, "Granny Pants"

Well, it happened. The original mean girl in Betty's life, Kimmie Keegan (Lindsey Lohan), infiltrates Mode this week, throwing all kinds of office dynamics off-kilter on Ugly Betty.

The last time we saw Kimmie, she was slinging burgers and telling Betty about how awful her life is. When she shows up at Betty's office looking for a job and gets one, she soon discovers life in the fast lane is hard and she's pretty much a disaster. Betty has a choice to make: She can exact revenge on a girl that made her youth a living hell or rise above the past and help out a new friend in need. Which route does Betty choose? Well, she's a highly predictable goody-goody with a big heart, so . . . we can talk about it if you


  • The opening sequence is pretty amazing, especially when Wilhelmina shows up channeling Cruella de Vil wearing a dalmatian jacket with a bunch of puppies trailing her.
  • Daniel and Wilhelmina are off to a bumpy start as coeditors of Mode. Daniel: "Wilhelmina Slater does not support the troops!"
  • Amanda is hilarious as usual, and her Betty-taunting early in the episode made me laugh: "I’m bored. This is a perfectly hideous outfit you’re wearing, but I’ve already mocked it."
  • And then Kimmie arrives, telling Betty that her life "has been a downward slide into sucks since high school." Betty tries to get rid of her, but Daniel basically hires her on the spot.
  • Then we see the flashback. First of all, Betty's high-school teeth were really big. Secondly, everyone in junior high called her Pig Latin! That is brutal. And third of all, Kimmie rises to popularity in high school by pulling down Betty's skirt in front of the whole cafeteria. After that everyone called Betty "granny pants." So sad!
  • Kimmie really sucks at Betty's job. I loved when she talks to Willi for the first time and Marc is summoned to get in her face and make that hissing cat noise!
  • But when everyone is ready to fire Kimmie, the train wreck, Betty stands up for her! I was pulling my hair out here, because I just knew this was Betty being naive. However, the Kimmie training montage is amazing.
  • Meanwhile, Justin has a bully of his own at school and is going to audition for Billy Elliot on Broadway. When Hilda has her super-angry reaction to Justin's bully news, I wanted someone to hand her an Emmy. It's small and subtle, but she's so amazing and sassy!
  • And OMG do things get hilarious when Marc and Amanda notice Kimmie. At first they're mean to her — "Cute tiny backpack. Do you put all your tiny scrunchies in it?"
  • Betty training Kimmie re: Wilhelmina: "If you screw up with her, you could be fired or die — I've heard rumors."
  • The lesson on how to pronounce Will-HELL-mina was great, too. ("There's an easy way to remember this. There's hell in it.")
  • Daniel misses D.J. and wants a family now ("My clock is ticking") and signs up for a dating service. And his former-model surprise date turns out to be . . . Willi! Raise your hand if you thought it might possibly be Renee. I sort of did.
  • Betty out all night clubbing is a pretty funny visual, and then she oversleeps and suspects Kimmie of foul play ("I should have known something was up when she ordered me that second Long Island iced tea. By the way — not tea!”)
  • And then Betty goes totally nuts! And pulls down Kimmie's pants! And Marc and Amanda nickname her "sexy pants," and everyone now thinks Betty is ugly and mean.

So where do we think Betty went wrong with Kimmie? I think she probably should have let her get fired. It would just be really weird to have a former high-school classmate, who made your life miserable, working with you, right? And now Kimmie's back to being terrible so I'm not sure what life lesson Betty is supposed to learn here, other than "Always look out for number one!" or "It's not your job to help people who have been mean to you get their lives together!" or something. What do you guys think?

Photos copyright 2008 ABC, Inc.

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