The promo for this week's episode of Ugly Betty made it look like Betty's wealthy Prince Charming is potentially a cheating player. This wouldn't be too hard to believe because of all the weird lying Matt does.
Well, it turns out that he is, in fact, hiding something from her that's a little more uncomfortable than it is scandalous. Also, Marc and Amanda give Betty an amazingly weird and fun tutorial on seduction.
Meanwhile, Hilda and Archie give their relationship a go and Daniel learns about metaphors! Let's get chatting, just
- When the episode opens Matt and Betty are all into each other and gross and shmoopy. Matt uses terms like "Monthiversary" and when Betty tells him that he doesn't always have to bring her back to Queens he responds with, "Well that's where my queen lives." Um, barf.
- OK, so Ignacio awkwardly interrupts Betty and Matt's kiss and then he interrupts Hilda and Archie, and you know what this makes me think? Maybe everyone shouldn't live together at this age. Just a thought.
- Betty and Matt haven't had sex yet (Amanda: "Are you actually saying that you haven't tapped that yet?") and when Betty tries to give Matt the signal, he stuffs her in a cab (cab driver: "That guy couldn't' get rid of you fast enough!").
- Both Hilda and Amanda tell Betty she's got to go after Matt sexually if that's what she wants. Betty calls her style "subtle" to which Amanda responds, "Maybe like a 100 years ago in like, the 1950s, but these days bolder is better." Ha! Amanda + math = funny.
- OMG, Marc and Amanda's "Operation Betty Sexification" is so funny and not sexy at all. It involves "the art of the sexy hair flip" and a ladle.
- And, oh wow . . . Betty's attempt to seduce Matt? Yikes. Here's a taste: "What's your hurry, soldier?" Ha!
- So the episode is titled "The Sex Issue" because it's time for Mode's annual sex issue and because Matt has a little sex issue of his own.
- Yep, turns out that lady he's hugging on in the promos isn't his lover — it's a therapist he sees because he's had sex with, like, hundreds of people or something. So does that make him a sex addict? They don't come out and say that. Maybe he's just promiscuous? Hmm.
- This weirds Betty out and then she gets over it. If the guy's in therapy for the number of ladies he's "tapped," to use Amanda's phrasing, I might have requested an STD test from him if I were Betty. Just saying.
- How amazing is Hilda's fight with Archie's old girlfriend?! I love the vanilla vs. hot caramel tough talk. I love Hilda like this.
- I also died of laughter when Hilda not-so-gently suggests that Archie get a tattoo on his butt right after sex.
- Finally, best line of the evening goes to Willie, of course, because it's oh so true: "What is it with white people and Taye Diggs?!"
Molly and Daniel are actually pretty cute this episode (Betty has to explain to him that Molly's poem about the ocean was a metaphor for the sex they have), which almost made me forget she's dying. Sad. Also, it looks like a good cry into a hot nanny's sculpted bare chest helps Willie finally get over Connor, thank goodness, and the Suarez women appear to be in love. All is well in Betty land. What do you think of this episode?
Photos copyright 2009 ABC, Inc.