The key word of this week's episode of The Vampire Diaries is "heightened." Everything Elena is experiencing as a baby vampire is heightened, as Stefan helpfully reminds us about every five seconds. One thing that is most certainly heightened is the number of times she barfs blood. The poor girl is having some "transitional issues," and Damon and Stefan both try their hardest to help, but it seems that only Damon is successful (in a very, uh, intimate way).
There's also a new baddie in town who's determined to take down all the wily vampires in Mystic Falls, so to get into that, plus Elena's digestive problems (and some hot makeouts), just keep reading.
- Score a couple points for Team Stefan; he's pretty hot this week, kicking off the episode with a rapid-fire vampire makeout with Elena. It's really too bad that she vomits in the middle of the hookup (happens to the best of us), because she's rejecting the animal blood Stefan wants her to drink so she never has to feed from humans. Stefan sees human feeding as a slippery slope to Elena killing people and then feeling horrible about it (and maybe becoming the lady version of The Ripper).
- When Elena's stomach isn't on board with "The Animal Plan," she goes to Damon. He offers her his blood, and then we're introduced to vampire-on-vampire "blood-sharing," which Damon describes as "personal." I'll say, because Elena sucks from Damon's wrist while he strokes her hair and his eyes roll back in his head. I don't think "personal" is the word he's looking for. I think "supersexual" is a more appropriate term. I don't really know what to make of this scene, especially because I did not watch it on pay cable.
- Oh, and speaking of blood-sharing, it sounds like it's going to lead to more "personal" complications for Damon and Elena, because Stefan punches Damon in the face after he finds out that it went on. That's the other point Stefan scores this week.
- Well, I guess I was wrong about the council being the big villain of the season. Turns out, it's probably Connor Jordan, who calls himself an "independent contractor," but he really means "vampire slayer." He investigates the blown-up council members and then tries to pick off the vamps of Mystic Falls at the superappropriate venue of the council's memorial. The sensitive dude uses Pastor Young's daughter, April, as bait, but the most interesting thing about Ol' Vervain Gloves is that Jeremy sees an elaborate tattoo on Connor's arm, which Matt doesn't see at all. Oh, hey, is our Jeremy a special breed of slayer too, some kind of kin to this Connor?
- Damon's bit with the holy water ("I don't know why that always makes me smile") is funny. I don't know why you always make me smile, Damon. Wait, yes I do. It's your face.
- One of the weirdest scenes this week is actually kind of sweet. To keep Connor from seeing that Elena is suffering from blood lust, Matt makes the sacrifice of letting Elena feed from him in the church, and the best part is the look on Matt's face when she pulls away. It's such a tough-guy wince.
- After snacking on Matt, Elena's still thirsty when she finds a bleeding April, but Caroline stops her and talks some sense into her. She gets her to compel April, helping Elena's transitional issues. Caroline as vampire life-coach FTW!
- Call me cheesy, but I loved the bittersweet final scene. The gang has a little memorial for everyone who has died in their lives, but Damon declines to participate. He chooses instead to talk to Alaric's grave — his one true friend in the world. Aww, I hope Damon gets another friend. Also, will we be seeing more of ghost Alaric this season? I don't hate it; I just need to manage my expectations.
- Bonnie is still freaking out over doing dark magic. We get it, Bonnie. Just go bad already. It's actually kind of funny that Stefan picks this time to use her for information on the special wooden bullets Connor uses. Couldn't you just have Googled it?
- I almost have to deduct a point from Team Stefan this week for his confrontation with Elena at the end of the episode. He's mad that she lied about having a hard time drinking blood (unfair; that was all Damon). More like he's mad that she sucked on Damon's wrist like it was a lollipop.
- All right, I've seen enough blood being puked to last a lifetime. Let's just see it going in rather than out, K? Thanks.
What did you think of this week's episode of The Vampire Diaries?