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10 Reasons Not to Do Yoga?

September is National Yoga Month, and I'm sure you're expecting me to go on and on about the numerous health benefits of this sacred type of movement. I know if I do, there will be many of you who still refuse to step on a mat, and for those people, the Huffington Post brings us the top 10 reasons you should continue not to do yoga.

  1. You enjoy looking 9 years older than you are.
  2. You embrace those heavy metal toxins building up in your body as a bad-ass homage to your Kiss concert days.
  3. Your marathon time is just fine the way it is.
  4. You firmly believe that the junk in your trunk needs more company.
  5. You hate yoga.

For the last five reasons keep reading.

  1. You think of the hospital as a cleaner, more specialized Club Med, and don't mind staying there more often.
  2. There is no way you'd rather age than to experience a slow mental decline.
  3. Your family loves you wound tighter than a ball of rubber bands.
  4. Chronic lower back pain isn't really that bad, when compared to other things . . . like Swine Flu.
  5. Sleeping is for wussies.

Ha! Don't you love reverse psychology? Just reading this list inspires me to spring out of my desk and into an impromptu Sun Salutation because the junk in my trunk is fine on its own, thank you.

Image Source: Getty
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onlysourcherry onlysourcherry 6 years
this piece is written to make people who do yoga feel better about doing yoga.
adelaidekay adelaidekay 6 years
I like some yoga but I need a faster pace workout. I just can't do slow things they make me anxious. & all the yoga I have tried is so slow to me.
irisheyes1212 irisheyes1212 6 years
:-O What happened to my post lol....Anyhow I love yoga and vinyasa flow is the way to go. I sweat as much as I would doing the elliptical / treadmill :)
irisheyes1212 irisheyes1212 6 years
:-O What happened to my post lol....Anyhow I love yoga and vinyasa flow is the way to go. I sweat as much as I would doing the elliptical / treadmill :)
irisheyes1212 irisheyes1212 6 years
I <3 yoga... can't wait for my flow class tonite
irisheyes1212 irisheyes1212 6 years
I <3 yoga... can't wait for my flow class tonite
TidalWave TidalWave 6 years
this is stupid! i thought these were going to be legitimate reasons like, for example, "can cause some serious back problems if not done correctly (not all instructors can be trusted!)"
Zulkey Zulkey 6 years
Jesus, pass-agg much? I just don't like yoga, guess I'm going to die early but I'm already going to die early, everyone so helpfully tells me all the time, thanks to the diet pop, lean cuisines and sunshine I take in so doesn't matter anyway!
Advah Advah 6 years
Yogaforlife - I couldn't agree more about the teacher! One of the teachers at my yoga studio is *amazing*. I realised that when I go to a different class, I keep getting distracted and start thinking about food or work, whereas if it's him teaching I'll be completely focused on what I'm doing and feel much better afterwards. :)
syako syako 6 years
Ugh. Those reasons are so snooty and condescending it makes me want to stop doing yoga... :oy:
syako syako 6 years
Ugh. Those reasons are so snooty and condescending it makes me want to stop doing yoga... :oy:
Yogaforlife Yogaforlife 6 years
Sorry for the ultra long post. I kept getting distracted and didn't realize I typed so much! So sorry!
Yogaforlife Yogaforlife 6 years
chatnoir - I know a lot of conservative religious types who feel that way about yoga. There's actually a facebook group of religoius conservatives who rant about yoga being a sin - THEY TYPE ANNOYINGLY IN ALL CAPS. Accidentally found them when searching yoga groups and it made me laugh. I do Ashtanga/Vinyasa flow yoga. Liking yoga truly is dependent on finding which version works for you: ashtanaga/vinyasa/bikram if you want a fast paced physical workout, and yes it will raise your heart rate, make you sweat (when done correctly) and make you sore (not just from stretching but from strength training too). If the fast pace yoga is intimidating, especially until you learn the asanas, I recommend trying Iyengar, or a beginner ashtanga class. Glowingmoon, I commend you for giving it a full year before giving up on it. It sounds like you were doing Iyengar, hatha or another slow paced yoga. I think had you tried Ashtanga/Bikram you would have found it more physically demanding and maybe enjoyed it more. But you're right, yoga is not for everyone. I get bored/impatient in hatha, iyengar classes too. The teacher makes all the difference and for me a hands-on teacher works best. I go to a yoga studio instead of one at a gym and I find the teachers to be more hands on. My teacher pushes me deeper into stretches and corrects alignment. After years of practicing yoga in classes that were not hands on, I never realized that I sometimes drop one hip forward or don't have my hips facing the correct direction. I definitely have found the instructor makes a world of difference. Try dropping in on a beginner class if you are new, try different types of yoga, and try different instructors. Even if you think you'll never like yoga, you may find one class/instructor combo really works for you and may motivate you to try more of it. It does have a tremendous benefit on your health. I have two slight twists in my spine - one at the shoulder blades, and one in my lower back. I have to go to a chiropractor regularly to keep my spine aligned otherwise I start to have a lot of back pain that affects me to the point where I can't sleep, can't sit in a chair, and I'm just generally uncomfortable no matter what. I now complement my chiropractic treatment by practicing ashtanga yoga and it's amazing - I sleep better, I feel better, and my back pain is mostly gone. The only time I feel back pain is when I go a couple of days without practicing yoga and my spine begins to twist again as the muscles tighten up. I went from seeing a chiropractor a few times a week to now where I'm getting ready to do a once a month maintenance. My chiropractor told me as long as I keep the yoga up, I should be mostly self-sufficient on maintaining my spinal alignment. It really does do wonders for those with chronic pains.
Yogaforlife Yogaforlife 6 years
chatnoir - I know a lot of conservative religious types who feel that way about yoga. There's actually a facebook group of religoius conservatives who rant about yoga being a sin - THEY TYPE ANNOYINGLY IN ALL CAPS. Accidentally found them when searching yoga groups and it made me laugh. I do Ashtanga/Vinyasa flow yoga. Liking yoga truly is dependent on finding which version works for you: ashtanaga/vinyasa/bikram if you want a fast paced physical workout, and yes it will raise your heart rate, make you sweat (when done correctly) and make you sore (not just from stretching but from strength training too). If the fast pace yoga is intimidating, especially until you learn the asanas, I recommend trying Iyengar, or a beginner ashtanga class. Glowingmoon, I commend you for giving it a full year before giving up on it. It sounds like you were doing Iyengar, hatha or another slow paced yoga. I think had you tried Ashtanga/Bikram you would have found it more physically demanding and maybe enjoyed it more. But you're right, yoga is not for everyone. I get bored/impatient in hatha, iyengar classes too.The teacher makes all the difference and for me a hands-on teacher works best. I go to a yoga studio instead of one at a gym and I find the teachers to be more hands on. My teacher pushes me deeper into stretches and corrects alignment. After years of practicing yoga in classes that were not hands on, I never realized that I sometimes drop one hip forward or don't have my hips facing the correct direction. I definitely have found the instructor makes a world of difference.Try dropping in on a beginner class if you are new, try different types of yoga, and try different instructors. Even if you think you'll never like yoga, you may find one class/instructor combo really works for you and may motivate you to try more of it.It does have a tremendous benefit on your health. I have two slight twists in my spine - one at the shoulder blades, and one in my lower back. I have to go to a chiropractor regularly to keep my spine aligned otherwise I start to have a lot of back pain that affects me to the point where I can't sleep, can't sit in a chair, and I'm just generally uncomfortable no matter what. I now complement my chiropractic treatment by practicing ashtanga yoga and it's amazing - I sleep better, I feel better, and my back pain is mostly gone. The only time I feel back pain is when I go a couple of days without practicing yoga and my spine begins to twist again as the muscles tighten up. I went from seeing a chiropractor a few times a week to now where I'm getting ready to do a once a month maintenance. My chiropractor told me as long as I keep the yoga up, I should be mostly self-sufficient on maintaining my spinal alignment. It really does do wonders for those with chronic pains.
Asche Asche 6 years
@Chantnoir: I really hope I don't offend you, but you just made my day. That is the funniest, yet most ridiculous, thing I've heard in awhile!! Is it a super-conservative, born again-type church?
Asche Asche 6 years
@Chantnoir: I really hope I don't offend you, but you just made my day. That is the funniest, yet most ridiculous, thing I've heard in awhile!! Is it a super-conservative, born again-type church?
bronzebeauty719 bronzebeauty719 6 years
i agree with many of the above posters..yoga when practiced as a workout must be bikram or vinyasa/ashtanga flow..the latter which i practice. Meditative yoga though good for the soul is entirely different and shouldnt be promoted as a means for anything other than inner health. I understand many who have hesitations trying yoga but i suggest seeking out "active" yoga classes and trying different instructors. After practicing i off and on for 9 years (im only 25) i trully recommend it. never ever feel as good as when i have been consistenly doing it. and who knows maybe that is why people always guess my age at five years younger ;)
chatnoir chatnoir 6 years
My parents won't do yoga because their church tells them it's evil. (huh???) It's so sad. They both would really benefit from it.
chatnoir chatnoir 6 years
My parents won't do yoga because their church tells them it's evil. (huh???) It's so sad. They both would really benefit from it.
Asche Asche 6 years
bigestivedicuit: I said meditation-based yogas bore me to death. Bikram Yoga, for instance, is insanely intense! I can hardly get through the 90 minutes. However, in my experience, whenever I have looked into yoga classes at anything other than a proper studio (i.e. normal gym), I only ever see watered-down Hatha offered.
bigestivediscuit bigestivediscuit 6 years
Anyone who says yoga is too slow, boring or easy of a workout has obviously never tried Vinyasa flow/Ashtanga yoga. And yes, it makes me sweat and raises my heart rate. Yoga is a work out. I also run, dance and do other aerobic exercise. Iyengar yoga bores me to death.
Advah Advah 6 years
I love both Pilates and yoga. I tried Iyengar Yoga years ago, and while it made me feel much calmer and more relaxed I wasn't really sold on the idea of yoga. Then recently I realised different types of yoga are completely different from each other. I like Ashtanga best, but I have a feeling the people who said yoga is too easy or boring probably haven't tried Vinyasa - moving from one posture to the next doesn't leave you time to get bored! And trust me, my body ached for days (in a good way), def not easy..
mod16 mod16 6 years
im on team pilates also
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