- You enjoy looking 9 years older than you are.
- You embrace those heavy metal toxins building up in your body as a bad-ass homage to your Kiss concert days.
- Your marathon time is just fine the way it is.
- You firmly believe that the junk in your trunk needs more company.
- You hate yoga.
For the last five reasons keep reading.
- You think of the hospital as a cleaner, more specialized Club Med, and don't mind staying there more often.
- There is no way you'd rather age than to experience a slow mental decline.
- Your family loves you wound tighter than a ball of rubber bands.
- Chronic lower back pain isn't really that bad, when compared to other things . . . like Swine Flu.
- Sleeping is for wussies.
Ha! Don't you love reverse psychology? Just reading this list inspires me to spring out of my desk and into an impromptu Sun Salutation because the junk in my trunk is fine on its own, thank you.