Yoga class is supposed to be all serene and spiritual, but it's hard to feel enlightened when you break the silence by loudly breaking wind. We're all adults, so we shouldn't feel embarrassed, but it's hard to bounce back into bliss after such an awkward distraction. Plenty can happen during a yoga class to make you want to crawl under your mat and hide, and although you can't prevent everything, here are some ways to lower your risk for bodily function humiliation.
Loud Outbursts From Your Tush
Gas gets passed. It happens. But it's mortifying when it happens to you in a completely quiet room of people trying to breathe! There are a few ways you can lower your risk of tooting accidentally. First off, trying out that new Mexican place a couple hours before your yoga class is probably not the best idea. Skip eating the foods you know lead to gas like beans, meat, onions, and broccoli, and avoid trying new foods in case your digestive system rebels. Certain poses are also more likely to encourage gas to pass, such as forward bends, twists, and poses where your knees pull into your chest. I'm not telling you to avoid them completely, but move into questionable postures with caution if you know flatulence is an issue. If a barking spider finds it's way into your capris, I find it best to pretend it didn't happen, or laugh to dispel any weirdness.
Keep reading to learn how to prevent being stinky, nip slips, and air in your lady parts.
You don't want to be the stinky person everyone avoids placing their mat next to. When you sweat profusely, bacteria mixes with your perspiration, causing that offensive odor. Deodorant helps, but you also want to make sure your clothes are clean. Wearing seemingly "clean" clothes you only wore once will backfire because as soon as you start sweating, the funky odors release. If you're having a hard time eliminating unpleasant smells from your workout clothes, here are some tips for washing your clothes. Or invest in some new tops and bottoms made from material specifically designed not to reek.
The same goes for your mat. If you use a rug or yoga towels, for the love of Shiva, do not just roll it up all sweaty and leave it like that until the next class. Hang your rug over your bedroom door to air out and prevent mildew, and wash your towel with your yoga outfit. Your nose and everyone else's will thank you.
I'll never forget an ashtanga class I took with my hubby and the girl across from us had a classic nip slip. And I'll spare you the details of the older gentleman who wore shorts that were a little too short for his own good (shudder). To prevent revealing too much skin, make sure your outfit fits well. Loose material or clothes that don't keep you covered (booty shorts and low-cut tops) will shift when contorting your body, and you're bound to let your neighbor get a peek at your private business. Before heading to class, do some poses at home to make sure your parts stay hidden.
Along the same lines, if you choose not to wear underwear or sport teeny thongs, make sure your yoga pants aren't see-through. Inspect your crotch for holes as well. To avoid showing off my butt crack and other parts down there, I splurge on quality yoga pants made of thicker material (thank you Lululemon for keeping my privates protected!).
Passing Gas Through Your Lady Business
It's not something we talk about, but this too happens. Some might experience air up there when getting busy, but it may also find its way into your vinyasa class. Air often gets drawn inside during inversions when your legs are wide, like in a straddle. The good news is you know the air is in there, so you can do your best to move slowly, shift your hips, or do whatever you need in order to release the air slowly as to avoid the unmistakable symphony of squeaks. I will say that you want to be certain you've released every last bit to avoid surprising honks from your hoo-ha.