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Former Top Chef All-Star Fabio Viviani Recaps Top Chef Episode 15

Fabio Viviani on Top Chef All-Stars Episode 15

Who better to cover the finale of Top Chef All-Stars than former cheftestant (and contender from this season!) Fabio Viviani? Fabio, take it away!
Here we go. We're getting close to knowing who the Top Chef will be. I mean, these people are all Top Chefs in my book already, and honestly I believe that everyone but me was truly at a certain point thinking that they were actually going to win.

Now, let's get to the juice: three last standing! Richard is worried already, Mike is on a roll, and the Black Hammer is doing some voodoo in order to bring the kiss of death on the neck of the other two chefs! You guys know how much I love Antonia. We are friends, so please stop giving me crap about the fact that I always side with the boys, 'cause no one make the ladies happy like I already try to do. I'm just having fun with her.

The rest of Fabio's humorous recap is after the jump.

Padma asks if they are ready for the quickfire and Mike is ready. Richard is worried. Wolfgang Puck is speaking but he got a thicker accent than me. I honestly have no freaking clue what the heck he said. I also tried to be kind and rewind two times. Still have no clue . . . WTF??

Mike picks canned food for Antonia. She is horrified: there is no such thing in Italy and France. I would be horrified too. Richard is worry, and he hope he can pull it off with a burger. He's really worried and he is so worry that he give Mike one-pot wonder. Richie? Really? There are two things infinite: universe and stupidity. Your move didn't look like universe.

There is a twist. Mike will work without hand tools. Richard will work with one hand, and he's superworry. Antonia get tied up with Carla. Antonia make a tango with Carla, and Mike is laughing at both of them while they are making a curry soup. Mike make pork and beans in 45 minutes: pretty ballsy. Richie make his own bread and a chopped-up hot dog. When he serve it, it look like a goulash.

Wolfgang tells Richard that his kids would love the hot dog. That's to me is a compliment and Richard is worry. Maybe I didn't understand, but didn't Mike said that he gave it to Antonia twice? Anyway. None of my business. Good for them . . . cousins . . .

Again, Wolfgang Puck make me think that overall I don't really suck in English. I mean, this guy is been here for like 40 years and still, when I close my eyes I could be anywhere in Middle Europe or in the living room of the California's former Governor Arnold . . . I love his accent but he makes very hard on me to understand him. All I get is too much ketchup, too strong. And the WINNA IZ Mike Isabella!! Richard is really worry now. I mean, this kid is about to puke. Can you guys make him win please? He'll have a heart attack. I'm worry.

Richard is already planning on suicide if he doesn't win Top Chef title, as he wait to meet his guests for tomorrow's challenge: Morimoto, my dear friend Michelle Bernstein, and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Mike picks Michelle, and he's a lucky man. I would love to cook for her any day. Give Morimoto to Antonia and Wolfgang to Richard. Only two of them will go to the finale. Richard is worry and kiss Puck butt right away . . . I have no clue how you even got a single word of what he said. I only got "strudel" and "spaetzle." Note to self: my accent suck too.

Michelle want fried chicken and gravy. That's my kind of girl! Her husband is a lucky man. Mike, make me look good. Antonia goes to Morimoto. I can't believe it. Someone with a thicker accent, more than me and Arnold combined, WOW . . .

All the judges are at dinner table. While they are talking about Michelle memories, Morimoto is shaking his head like he understood something they said . . . yeah right! All the chef are presenting the dish, and in my mind they all did an amazing job, but Antonia went a little too fancy with the flavors and that's NOT what Japanese cuisine is about. Mike changed the biscuits for the empanada and his creative mind gets some pointers. Richard makes Puck very happy with his phyllo strudel and goulash. After I've heard Morimoto speak now, Puck makes more sense to me . . .

And THEY PUT SUBTITLES UNDER MORIMOTO! I'm not the only one anymore!!! The chefs are called back and Richard wins the first part of it. Antonia and her cousin must battle for the finale. Richard seem not to worry now. Padma play a prank on them and send them back in the kitchen. They both have to do one bite to save their ass and go in the finale . . . Mike does a beef tartare with lobster and Antonia does a fish with curry sauce. It's very tight and in the end, with a stab in the back from Puck, Antonia gets the sh*tstick. She pack her knife and Mike move on. It's a boys' finale, and I picked those two since the very beginning. I'm happy to be back, in the Bahamas shenanigans! See you next Wednesday. It's Top Chef time . . .

Enjoy Fabio as much as we do? Check out all of Fabio's previous recaps on his blog, and visit his website for more on his Southern California restaurants, Firenze Osteria and Cafe Firenze.

Photos courtesy of Bravo

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