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i feel my partner and i are on different wavelengths

my partner and i got together when we were erratic and off the rails, 3 months later i found out i was pregnant and we decided to keep the bubba. At first he didn't have any drive for work and he looked after me during my pregnancy. i stopped smoking ciggies and drinking and he gave up drinking. we were going well he found a job and excelled, then the place went redundant and we moved cross country to where his family are from. i've had it hard trying to make new friends with a 6month old, i tried a mothers group, met his friends girlfriends etc. it's been just over a year and i suffered through depression, losing family and friends to finding what i feel is my calling. through this big awakening for me, my partner has.been through two jobs both of which he was amazing at, but they keep taking advantage of his amazing working ethic, the customers love him, the staff love him so the boss ends up relying on him. he works his ass off and when he gets home he sits in the shed smoking for an hour, dinner can be ready but he'll stay in the shed playing games on his phone, smoking, or he'll have a friend over. i feel been a young family, i need to be patient and let him get out of his work form, but that shouldn't take all through dinner and most of the time that his son is awake before he comes inside. he'll come in half an hour before our son goes to bed... on his weekends he'll spend majority of it sleeping, then spend another hour or so after he wakes up in the shed, come inside and sit in front of the tv. then he geta a spare moment he's back in the shed. i'm nearly 8 months pregnant with our second bub and i feel like i can't talk to my partner, because he isn't interested in my self help reasoning, nor in my interests for spirituality or environmental/political issues that are a very real threat to our immediate environment, he just wants me to chill out and be the xbox playing, free-willed smoker from before... but it's not as interesting anymore... i don't have a passion for the "box" like i did, i care about my children growing up in a healthy and positive environment, but i can never engage him in these conversations becausr he just gets angry. i try letting him be to do his own thing, but then it's like we're not there. i feel like our relationship only works when don't talk about anything serious or confronting or when we're talking about something he's interested in. i feel like i'm constantly trying new approaches for communication and i keep getting him either angry or frustrated or both. does he want me to be an idiot? can someone help me unravel this merry go round?

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annbaby annbaby 3 years
This sounds like a rough situation. You've changed, and he's stayed the same, and now both of you are frustrated because you feel like you're changing for the better and he's not helping you, while he feels like you fell in love with him yet now you want him to change. I'm sorry, I can't help you in terms of what to do, but maybe you two could go to relationship counseling. Since he's still trying so hard at work, and attempting to be a good father, perhaps counseling would help you two figure out a key aspect of making it work. Best of luck.
Obble Obble 3 years
Don't get me wrong, he says he loves us. He adores his son, he tries to spend time at home with us when he gets the chance, I just feel he's in a constant depression which he doesn't want to help himself out of anything about. He may be at home, but the shed with the smoke isn't spending time with your family, then because he's smoked he falls asleep when he comes to spend time with us. That always comes first and I feel it's tearing us apart.. :(

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