Last night 30 Rock returned with a freshly married Jack Donaghy. For his second wedding, he wanted a "five-minute ceremony surrounded by a giant party" on the fictional French island St. Esclavage. But not even Jack could make this wedding go off without a hitch, so here are five definite don'ts (and spoilers!).
- Don't use an uncoordinated flower girl. Nobody wants to see a 4-year-old who can't evenly distribute petals.
- Don't let an exiled French admiral and defrocked minister who can't speak a word of English perform the ceremony. Oui?
- Don't use a woman, particularly Liz Lemon, if you must make a last-minute best man switch.
- If you must switch the best man for an OK-ish woman, ensure she is not wearing a white mosquito veil while the bride wears a black cocktail dress and no veil.
- Don't ever sign papers you don't understand.
Follow these five steps, and with any luck, you'll marry the right person. But for now, congratulations Mrs. Elizabeth Lemon Donaghy!