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The 4-Way: Dating the Ex’s Friend

Divine Caroline and I are back with another edition of the 4-Way. Enjoy!
Dear 4-Way,

I just broke up with my girlfriend a few months ago. Honestly, the relationship had been over for a while, so by the time the breakup actually went down, it was pretty friendly; we still talk all the time. She’s got a friend I’ve always found really attractive, and recently the friend mentioned to my ex-girlfriend that she’s interested in me too. My ex says she’s okay with it if we go out, but a couple of my girl friends tell me that I shouldn’t even consider asking her out, no matter what my ex-girlfriend says, so I’m not sure what to do. What do you guys think?—TM, Los Angeles, California

To see DearSugar's answer

Dear TM,

When it comes to dating peoples' exes, I say N.O. It sounds as though you and your ex have a pretty good relationship so why would you potentially ruin it over some girl that you've "always found really attractive"? As a female myself, I can tell you that most women would be upset by an ex dating a friend, even though yours is giving you her blessing. Since you are broken up, she really doesn't have a right to do otherwise, but that doesn't necessarily mean she'll be okay with seeing you out with her friend, seeing you kissing her friend, or even hearing about you dating her friend.

Now TM, if carrying on a friendship with your ex isn't all that important to you after all, by all means date this woman, but if this is a friendship that you in some way value, I'm going to advise you to steer clear of mixing such relationships — it's just too close for comfort.

On this one, I'm with you Rebecca Brown!

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